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New research has uncovered the heaviest element yet known to science.

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The new element is governmentium.

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It has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198 assistant deputy neutrons,

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giving it an atomic mass of 312.

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These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons,

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which are surrounded by vast quantities of lefton-like particles called peons.

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Since governmentium has no electrons or protons, it is inert.

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However, it can be detected because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact.

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A tiny amount of governmentium can cause a reaction normally taking less than a second

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to take from four days to four years to complete.

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Governmentium has a normal half-life of two, six years.

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It does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization

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in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons

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exchange places.

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In fact, governmentium's mass will actually increase over time,

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since each reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons,

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forming isodopes.

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This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe

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that governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration.

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This hypothetical quantity is referred to as critical morass.

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When catalyzed with money, governmentium becomes administratium,

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an element that radiates just as much energy as governmentium,

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since it has half as many peons, but twice as many morons.

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All of the money is consumed in the exchange,

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and no other byproducts are produced.

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When catalyzed with money is utilized.