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morning I was raped. They took breaks and and
told me I had to refilm scenes. I

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tried to run naked from the hotel room at one
point. I was physically shoved back

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and there was someone outside of the door. I
didn't even make it to the door. I

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everything on the internet that we have right
now with your full name or we'll

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send it to your parents. Do you want them to
find out?

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First of all we want to say thanks for being
with us today. Thank you for having

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people think that sex trafficking and porn
are separate industries and your

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experience sheds light on the connections
between porn and sex trafficking.

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You never agreed to do porn at all yet your
abuse was posted online with my full

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girls do porn were eventually shut down and
convicted of sex trafficking they

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went unchecked for 11 years or so. They also
claimed to be ethical like an

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ethical porn company during those 11 years
but we'll get more into those

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how you're doing. By the way we want to
introduce Cozy to the

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audience. We have a little mic set up for
Cozy. When you came in and I saw Cozy

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immediately in my mind I was like we should
have set up a mic. It was just

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too cute to not do it and so I literally put
a mic down there for Cozy.

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I was trafficked six and a half years ago.
It's been a roller coaster of

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emotions. It's been a long time coming with
the FBI trial and we had Wolf, one

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of the main guys that started. Yeah one of
the co-founders. Yes he did plead

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Andrea Garcia away for 20 years last year,
last June. We have seen

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justice but with that has come immense
harassment. It's all being brought to

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light and I feel like the stories that are
being shared about the women are so

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woman that I had the honor of meeting at
court and when we were testifying they

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were incredibly brave. They have all been
hurt beyond words and it was a really

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difficult day, that first day that we
testified. It was rewarding, exhausting,

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how much it's affecting all these women,
myself included, years later. I feel like

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it's gonna be a lifelong battle. It's
something that they put on the internet.

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They stole something from us that is never
going away even though we

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legally own the rights to the videos now.
It'll always be out there and it's

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a lot of therapy involved. Cozy helps a lot,
probably more than anything, but I'm

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stronger than I used to be. I had some
suicide attempts even right before trial

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last year. I went in with stitches on my arm.
I have this nice scar that almost

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not here to gain anything. I'm not being paid
for this. I don't want to have

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monetary gain from the trafficking, from the
trauma. I'm simply here to tell my

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story in hopes that hopefully we can stop
this. I know it's always gonna be

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there but we can bring education to people.
We can bring it to the light of

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because there is hope in healing. It's
definitely not easy. It's very hard and

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it's a long road but I'm living proof. I'm
still here begrudgingly at times

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but I'm doing better and I'm excited to
educate and bring this to light.

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It's really cool that you have experienced a
lot of healing and we can

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we are very grateful for that. As I asked
that question, "How are you doing today?"

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I think it's very telling that just yesterday
you had an update about one

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of the co-founders. To me that shows how this
has impacted you because when I

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asked that question, "How are you doing?" I
was expecting you to say, "Great, I did

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yesterday we had an update." Yeah, I had to
fake it for so long pretending I was

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okay that I really appreciate authenticity
now so I needed to

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realize it's okay not to be okay every day
and you really do have to allow

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yourself to feel pain in order to work
through it. I spent years running and

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answers are commonly disingenuine. We're
always, "Oh, I'm good. I did yoga. Yeah, I'm

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fine. Yeah, but I want... I just want to live
the rest of my life in an

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authentic way. I want to be genuine and real
and everyone has trauma in their

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lives. Everyone has pain. We're all
struggling at some point and we're here

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of hope for the future right now that I
didn't have for a really long time.

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What are you doing these days to take care of
yourself mentally, emotionally?

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Yeah, there were years where I tried therapy.
I've been a yoga instructor

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for a long time. That helped me a lot but
more than anything I had to seek

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ideations just got too much and it's okay to
ask for help, I realized. I really

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was scared to do that. I am a nurse. I love
being able to connect with my

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patients now saying, "Hey, it's okay to hurt"
and sometimes the best thing that

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you can do is hold someone's hand and
validate them so I'm trying to let

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off topic sometimes lately. I'm doing a lot
of therapy. I do talk therapy,

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cognitive behavioral therapy. I am on
antidepressants or I was on antidepressants

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for years. I would get egotistical at times
and go off of them thinking, "Oh, I

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don't need this. I can do it alone. I'm tough
or they just made me feel too

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times, "Oh, I don't need therapy" and I did
have a therapist commit suicide.

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Learning to open up to someone new after that
and retell your story is

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re-traumatizing, telling it so much to the
lawyers and the FBI. I got to the

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point where I was so sick and tired of
talking about it that I just didn't want

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great. She was patient with me. We talked
about my day or a date that I had

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went on. Now, lately, the past couple of
months, we've been very real. She had me

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write myself a letter saying, "What if you
had wanted to do porn? What if you had

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agreed to go there knowing what was going to
happen? How would your life be

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difficult at first. Eventually, I wrote that
letter and I thought, "Everyone

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makes mistakes. Everyone has trials." It gave
me a lot of self-compassion that I

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didn't have before. Some of the girls did go
into filming or they went to San

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what they were going to be part of, but they
were groomed, they were coerced, they

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were lied to. Yes, and that's why the men
were convicted of not only sex

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trafficking but conspiracy for sex
trafficking. I don't think any differently

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of any woman for their story. I didn't know
and it is frustrating being

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thing and everyone's story was unique.
Everyone was lied to, everyone was

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coerced. I thought I was flying out for yoga
clothing modeling and it looks like

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one thing. It makes us all look like porn
stars. The lawsuit has called us

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authentic finally with that, being real with
my therapist, actually delving into

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the pain and letting myself experience it has
been incredibly helpful and I also

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do ketamine therapy. I've been doing that for
about a year and a half. I go into a

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ketamine center. They're in a lot of
different areas. It's given me a chance

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"Special K." They use it as a party drug. I
highly don't recommend that because it

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can actually be a super transformational tool
and really beneficial and when I do

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it, I listen to piano music. I have an eye
shade on. I lay on a couch. They do

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three injections over 90 minutes. Cozy lays
on my lap. She's amazing and

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basically you're in a different dimension.
You lose more so than other

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moment not not knowing who you are and at the
same time it was the biggest

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relief because my trauma wasn't there. When I
kind of came to, when you have

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that terrifying moment, who am I, you think
who do I want to be? Logically

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I knew like, "Oh, I have all of this crap in
my life and during suicidal moments

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can't bear another day. It's never gonna go
away." But in that moment, the first

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ketamine session that I did, I thought, "What
do I want to go back to? How do I

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want to make it better? What do I value?" And
the first thing I saw was Cozy and

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she's a big value but I thought about family
and I thought of all the

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different experience. Every time I've been
it's been very different but it

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actually regenerates gray matter in your
brain and it helps reset synapses,

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recreates positive neural pathways so it
actually is good for you. Literally

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changing your brain and helping you frame the
trauma in different ways.

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Absolutely and sometimes I'm not ready to
feel the trauma. Sometimes it's like

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sometimes I set intentions. Sometimes it's
deep and sometimes it's lighter but

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it's been really transformational. I highly
recommend it to post traumatic

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stress disorders, patients to survivors if
anti-depressants and regular

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traditional therapy hasn't worked. It's been
around. A lot of people are seeing a

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considered a really positive alternative
treatment for PTSD especially with war

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veterans so I highly recommend it but do it
with a medical practitioner because

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they dose you correctly and that's been the
thing that has helped me the very

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most. It helped me get off my
anti-depressants. It helped me realize I

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Opening up to my family has been the the
biggest

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Transformation in my life. They didn't know

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What had happened until the FBI trials
started? Okay, they never asked and I neve...

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I think consciously I thought I was
protecting them letting them think I

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Because that's how they saw it. That's how it
looks and they there was a all the shame

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How could you do this to us? Why would you we
all have to live with this?

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And that was the first time I considered
taking my life because I couldn't bear the

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my little brother what his sister had just
done and I

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So it seems like sorry to interrupt. No,
you're fine. It seems like the

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Dread about opening up. Absolutely. I think
that was that was the worst part for me be...

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This good girl in high school

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No one

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Everyone knew that I wasn't a partier

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I I was kind of labeled a prude because I was
religious and I was proud of that and

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The first person that sent me the video when
it was released about a week and a half tw...

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Look look who grew out of her prude stages
and I just immediately got violently ill a...

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Were sent it by one of their family friends
later that night. So in the religious

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That I grew up in my high school community. I
felt like everyone knew within a week and ...

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Disgustingly harassed and

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So I just let it go on. I just said how sorry
I was

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for betraying their trust and

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making them feel shame

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thinking

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Maybe I was protecting them a little from my
pain and then I thought if I kill myself

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And I still felt so stupid and naive for
going out there. I held a lot of

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self guilt I thought oh you stupid naive girl
and

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They were charged for not only sex
trafficking but conspiracy for sex

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It's taken a lot of therapy to work through
that. I still have days where I

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Blame myself and I think a lot of the girls
do but overall we've created this really

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Family actually know what happened. It was
difficult that it took the FBI trial

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For that to come to light, but having them
actually know what happened

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Knowing that I was a victim

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Absolutely, and then also not have that
victim mentality. Yes, it's rape trauma

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Blame themselves and they're so traumatized
from the sexual assault

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That they don't tell anyone and it's so
common and I did that for years. I didn't

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Deserved to be alive. I didn't think anyone
deserved to know the truth

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label me that I just owned it and

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I think that's been the best part of actually
having the FBI trial

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Seeking some justice has been incredible
getting to know the other women and how

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but getting to

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Kind of tell the world. No, this is not my
identity

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This was not something I chose

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I felt physically ill if I would go to the
grocery store and a man would check me out

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It's this ugly

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Thing it might as well be tattooed on my
face. Everyone recognizes me and it's stil...

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Like I own the rights and it happens
constantly. I've changed my phone number s...

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Disgusting I I got stood up on a date one
time and he said, oh, I wouldn't want to

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Go out with a porn star and so I sent him the
the link to our article and he goes. Yeah,

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Oh, and I was like, okay. Yeah, this is part
of my life my I got divorced because my

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Couldn't handle it. I was so broken

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It

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It just destroyed things

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As you're talking one of the things that's
going through my mind is the interview tha...

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I don't know if you've seen that. Oh, yes.
Yeah, she she yes

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00:19:00,920 --> 00:19:07,880
but in that interview she says that she gets
emails and DMs all the time from women who

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Mm-hmm. I don't think that people understand

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when they go on the internet to

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Get a quick fix

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They don't understand they might be
participating in human trafficking

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Right all of the men that have seen my video
and objectified me I goosebumps. It's a ha...

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The girls or boys or children that are in
that video

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Yeah, I might have looked like I wanted to be
there because I had been beaten up and

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Drugged. Yeah, and I've seen it. I've had to
see it multiple times because of

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Court and my I can tell my eyes look
completely dead and I remember how I felt ...

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halting to

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I didn't enjoy a single moment of that. I
can't actually enjoy sex

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Since then never have been able to of course.
Sorry TMI for you, but yeah, that's just yeah

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I think it's just so easy to disassociate
because it doesn't feel safe. My own body

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Looking for these things on Google. They have
no idea the blood the pain the tears the

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suicide attempts that how much that ruined my
life and

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how they're

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Contributing to the need every time they go
on it a pornographic website. So I think t...

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talk about

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Closely related human trafficking and porn is
porn's creating the need as long as there'...

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Absolutely, it will exploit so we need to we
need to lower the demand and

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Try to create real relationships real
intimacy

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Maybe work on ourselves a little so we feel
worthy of that

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I just want to say that if any of our
listeners do struggle with the porn habit

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If they are

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Experiencing that there are resources to get
to a healthier place for them

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Absolutely, but going back to what you said
about the fact that they might be consuming

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Content that is that appears to be
consensual. Yeah, it was top 10 the girls ...

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Recommended channels for years, right and
they had a download button, right? That's ...

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Were affected by that. That's one of the
reasons my video still gets released

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Because it's been downloaded and people
aren't gonna listen to a court order in

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They don't care or even within this country.
Yeah, so it's it's now. I know that it's

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I do agree fully that people struggling with
pornography

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Everyone makes mistakes and I think I've
ruined porn. I hope I've ruined porn. I kn...

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Yeah, and hopefully I have for some other
people. Hopefully I do for some listeners

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Absolutely, but it doesn't make you a bad
person. There is help for everyone, right?

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I can't stress that enough the name of our
podcast as you know is considered before

204
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Were not interested in doing pornography or
nudity of any type. No not of any type. I ...

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It all started with a job listing. Yes,
that's correct

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Can you go into details about how you
happened upon that particular job listing?

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I was doing a lot of

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Fitness modeling at the time. I was in school
and paying for college myself

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I had never sent a nude picture prior to that
it said

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Female fitness models wanted age 18 to 22

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they posted these all over the country and

212
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Craigslist is big where I'm from

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Everyone uses like I sold a car in Craigslist
one time that I always thought like oh lik...

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Website link that they sent me and it looked
really professional. They had a really gre...

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I spoke then I spoke to reference models. So
everything was like very

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professional very well planned very well
thought out they

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They had it their whole routine completely
down to a tee right they were professional

218
00:24:28,280 --> 00:24:32,059
I'll just give you a quick call and I can
explain it and I'm like, oh, well, that's

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00:24:32,059 --> 00:24:39,840
Yeah seems personable, but it doesn't leave a
paper trail. Absolutely. I think that I th...

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And they're their lawyer encouraged a lot of
that as well

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We know that you made it abundantly clear
again. I've said this but I'm gonna state ...

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And what your response was? Absolutely. Um,
so I had shown them

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Fitness photos. That's what they they asked
for

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to like

225
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See my muscle tone flexibility things like
that. It didn't seem sexual whatsoever

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and it was probably after about

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we also own an adult film production company
and

228
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Nude modeling and swimsuit modeling if you'd
be interested in that said this over the

229
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You could make even more money

230
00:25:32,640 --> 00:25:36,579
And it's all very tasteful very professional

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00:25:36,579 --> 00:25:42,440
We had talked long enough at this point that
I'm like, oh, these guys are our good guys

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00:25:49,000 --> 00:25:56,559
Like a good report. Yeah, good report. There
was like some camaraderie almost and when

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Absolutely, not. I was raised super religious

234
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No, like never thought in my mind and then
they're like, oh, well, we'll send you an

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Kind of thing which I think is a strategic
move on their end because yeah, and in court

236
00:26:18,519 --> 00:26:21,680
They can say we sent you an email. Exactly.
That's exactly

237
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Yeah, and then and then there and then I'm
calling them saying

238
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Absolutely not right fitness modeling not
interested in any other part of any indust...

239
00:26:31,160 --> 00:26:33,960
hell no never gonna happen and

240
00:26:41,240 --> 00:26:49,680
10,000 instead of just a couple thousand for
yoga clothing modeling and I'm like fitnes...

241
00:26:49,680 --> 00:26:52,880
Yeah, so I I did know it was an option

242
00:26:52,880 --> 00:26:58,119
But I had vehemently rejected it prior to
going out to San Diego

243
00:26:58,119 --> 00:27:02,800
Did they seem to respect your rejection? Yes,
they said oh, okay

244
00:27:07,160 --> 00:27:13,800
so when I got on that airplane I completely
thought I'm going out for

245
00:27:13,800 --> 00:27:19,800
Fitness modeling and that is it and that was
just you had just turned 22. Yes

246
00:27:19,800 --> 00:27:21,800
It was a couple weeks after my 22nd birthday

247
00:27:20,000 --> 00:27:24,960
was a couple weeks after my 22nd birthday and
if I put myself in your

248
00:27:24,960 --> 00:27:29,480
shoes I think I would feel some excitement as
I land in San Diego for

249
00:27:29,480 --> 00:27:33,320
this you know this what you thought was a
fitness modeling job yeah absolutely

250
00:27:33,320 --> 00:27:39,480
yeah and I was a professional so yoga
instructor so I was like okay like I'm

251
00:27:44,800 --> 00:27:47,840
there when you say that it was completely
different from the moment you

252
00:27:47,840 --> 00:27:51,640
got there can you speak to that a little bit
more like at what point did you

253
00:27:51,640 --> 00:27:57,320
become suspicious I think it's important to
talk about before right

254
00:27:57,320 --> 00:28:02,880
before we go there the reference models I had
FaceTime conversations I wasn't

255
00:28:02,880 --> 00:28:06,920
just like oh I'm gonna go out to San Diego
and just trust these men I was

256
00:28:12,400 --> 00:28:17,960
website I've seen portfolios I'd really like
to speak with some prior models and

257
00:28:17,960 --> 00:28:23,720
see how the experience went for them so I had
two different FaceTime calls the

258
00:28:23,720 --> 00:28:29,200
girls were really really sweet they had
Instagrams they were like all these

259
00:28:29,200 --> 00:28:33,360
guys are the best to work with I made great
money it was super easy they're

260
00:28:39,920 --> 00:28:46,800
and if you want to do the porn part it was
super enjoyable best sex I've ever

261
00:28:46,800 --> 00:28:51,920
had you won't regret it kind of thing and I'm
like nope absolutely not clothing

262
00:28:51,920 --> 00:28:56,240
modeling and they're like oh okay well it's
an option like they had also said

263
00:28:56,240 --> 00:29:00,560
it's an option but when I declined it wasn't
like oh you can't come right

264
00:29:05,000 --> 00:29:10,519
to vet the company I thought I had I blame
myself a lot still for not doing

265
00:29:10,519 --> 00:29:15,800
more but I had never heard the words girls do
porn I had zero idea that that

266
00:29:15,800 --> 00:29:21,880
is what they did well they seemed to
completely respect your no they did

267
00:29:21,880 --> 00:29:25,800
yeah and they were like it's an option it's
an option yeah and so I think that

268
00:29:32,160 --> 00:29:35,600
flag would have gone off if they were like oh
come on don't be a prude or

269
00:29:35,600 --> 00:29:40,620
whatever yeah there was none of that at all
respectful yeah moment yeah so you

270
00:29:40,620 --> 00:29:43,720
did your due diligence you know there have
been parents that literally dropped

271
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their daughters off and my parents knew where
I was going they had my flight

272
00:29:56,360 --> 00:30:01,280
had all of it in an email told my mom
everything I'm going out for clothing

273
00:30:01,280 --> 00:30:07,680
modeling and then she doesn't hear for me for
a few days so going back to the

274
00:30:07,680 --> 00:30:11,280
question now that we have that context going
back to my question of when did

275
00:30:11,280 --> 00:30:16,280
you start to become suspicious of this
opportunity how did that come about

276
00:30:22,840 --> 00:30:29,880
Teddy Geige he was the photographer I had no
idea who he was but I had talked

277
00:30:29,880 --> 00:30:34,880
to Matthew Wolf on the phone and he's like
hey there's gonna be a black

278
00:30:34,880 --> 00:30:40,480
escalated out front to pick you up super
excited we'll just let you get like a

279
00:30:40,480 --> 00:30:44,760
good night's rest tonight and then we'll go
to the beach and shoot tomorrow so

280
00:30:50,360 --> 00:30:56,880
see the blast black escalator I get in he
came around and opened the back door

281
00:30:56,880 --> 00:31:01,920
for me and I put my suitcase in and I was
like oh super what a gentleman thank

282
00:31:01,920 --> 00:31:09,080
you and then the second we start driving the
the doors lock and I kind of had a

283
00:31:09,080 --> 00:31:14,519
weird just a little bit of a weird feeling
and I like moved the door a

284
00:31:19,600 --> 00:31:24,960
they he was like hey do you want anything to
eat and I had a sandwich and

285
00:31:24,960 --> 00:31:28,280
he was like wow most most girls don't like
eating before this they want to

286
00:31:28,280 --> 00:31:35,039
look their skinniest and I was like what an
odd comment and then they took me to

287
00:31:35,039 --> 00:31:41,360
Andre Garcia's apartment and automatically
getting out of the car

288
00:31:47,100 --> 00:31:51,360
back and automatically there's another guy
that comes up and he was a bigger

289
00:31:51,360 --> 00:31:55,440
guy I don't even know what his name was he
was the one that eventually took me

290
00:31:55,440 --> 00:32:00,320
to the airport to leave when they finally let
me go and he he stood next to

291
00:32:00,320 --> 00:32:05,480
me so I have men on either side of me and I'm
like okay where are we going and

292
00:32:05,480 --> 00:32:10,560
they were like oh we just needed to like take
a quick headshot of you and we

293
00:32:16,560 --> 00:32:21,160
normal yeah like everything's like it's all
oh it'll be great they're being

294
00:32:21,160 --> 00:32:25,800
super it'll just take a minute great yeah
great makeup artist really cool

295
00:32:25,800 --> 00:32:30,560
apartment right and like everything's gated
it's like an underground parking

296
00:32:30,560 --> 00:32:35,519
garage so I'm like I haven't seen a single
person other than these two men

297
00:32:43,960 --> 00:32:50,120
the room and the door shuts the bigger guy
stands by the door and they're like

298
00:32:50,120 --> 00:32:55,500
oh hey like let's let's take your purse for
you so they take my purse which has

299
00:32:55,500 --> 00:33:02,760
my cell phone in it and then makeup artist
started I was alone kind of in

300
00:33:09,240 --> 00:33:14,580
happening and I was never alone I'm sitting
alone on a couch while a man is

301
00:33:14,580 --> 00:33:20,160
always in a stool or standing in front of the
door and I'm like okay this is

302
00:33:20,160 --> 00:33:24,000
like can I have my phone and they're like oh
we just placed your person to

303
00:33:24,000 --> 00:33:27,400
safe just be safe we don't want you thinking
we're stealing from you or

304
00:33:27,400 --> 00:33:32,320
anything and I'm like okay when is this like
gonna happen it's getting late and

305
00:33:36,840 --> 00:33:40,960
probably want to shower go use the shower and
straighten your hair and I'm

306
00:33:40,960 --> 00:33:45,760
like I shower this morning I'm good and my
hair and makeup is done and then they

307
00:33:45,760 --> 00:33:51,160
told me to take my clothes off and it was
what they called the panda pic they

308
00:33:51,160 --> 00:33:56,760
had a picture of a panda like artwork in the
background and at that point it was

309
00:34:04,560 --> 00:34:09,720
five don't have my phone and and they're like
okay take your clothes off Michael

310
00:34:09,720 --> 00:34:14,880
Pratt needs a picture to make sure you are
who you say you are that's when I

311
00:34:14,880 --> 00:34:23,440
really felt terrified and began to panic and
eventually they stripped me not by

312
00:34:32,720 --> 00:34:36,320
took me back down to the Escalade and they're
like we're just gonna take you

313
00:34:36,320 --> 00:34:40,680
to your hotel room and I'm pretty traumatized
at that point I'm like I

314
00:34:40,680 --> 00:34:44,920
want my phone I want to go home I don't want
to I don't care about the yoga

315
00:34:44,920 --> 00:34:48,240
clothing modeling I'm not doing this anymore
they're like okay well we'll

316
00:34:55,159 --> 00:34:58,880
stopped the car and I still can't get out at
this point like it's still locked I

317
00:34:58,880 --> 00:35:06,360
don't have my phone stops the car and picks
up marijuana and pill a bottle of

318
00:35:06,360 --> 00:35:11,159
pills from some guy in like an alley on the
way and like the windows are tinted

319
00:35:11,159 --> 00:35:15,119
I can't roll my window down I can't do
anything at this point I'm like I'm

320
00:35:20,599 --> 00:35:25,440
it's like underground parking once again
there's no one around we go up to the

321
00:35:25,440 --> 00:35:32,840
hotel and they have all these boxes and the
moment that I knew I was in really

322
00:35:32,840 --> 00:35:41,119
big trouble was when the door shut and one
man stayed outside while one guy

323
00:35:47,280 --> 00:35:51,760
guy is guarding the door from outside and
they automatically unplugged the

324
00:35:51,760 --> 00:35:57,619
hotel room phone and set all these papers out
in front of me and at some

325
00:35:57,619 --> 00:36:01,240
point the guy that was guarding the door came
in to intimidate me into signing

326
00:36:01,240 --> 00:36:05,079
these papers and I'm like what is this
they're like oh it's just for for your

327
00:36:05,079 --> 00:36:09,000
athletic photo shoot tomorrow and I'm like I
don't even want to do it anymore

328
00:36:13,960 --> 00:36:19,519
threatened I was intimidated they're standing
over me saying sign here sign

329
00:36:19,519 --> 00:36:23,680
here initial here and I'm like can I read
these and no no everything we have to

330
00:36:23,680 --> 00:36:28,600
hurry we have to hurry and long story short
that's when everything began from

331
00:36:28,600 --> 00:36:37,199
like 9 p.m. till 4 in the morning I was raped
they took breaks and and told me

332
00:36:43,079 --> 00:36:50,240
I was physically shoved back and there was
someone outside of the door I

333
00:36:50,240 --> 00:36:58,680
didn't even make it to the door I said you
I'm not doing anything else and

334
00:36:58,680 --> 00:37:02,360
they're like oh then we'll put everything on
the internet that we have

335
00:37:02,360 --> 00:37:06,240
right now with your full name or we'll send
it to your parents do you want them

336
00:37:14,340 --> 00:37:19,720
would kill me I was quite terrified of that
and then it got more and more

337
00:37:19,720 --> 00:37:23,880
threatening and then like oh oh do you want
me to hurt you now do you want it

338
00:37:23,880 --> 00:37:29,840
to be rougher and every time I didn't look
like I was enjoying it they would

339
00:37:29,840 --> 00:37:34,039
refilm the scene yeah eventually I just
wanted it to be over so eventually I did

340
00:37:38,980 --> 00:37:47,960
deposition their lawyer put it up a freezed
still image of my video of me

341
00:37:47,960 --> 00:37:53,159
in a very compromised position nude and says
sure looks like you're enjoying it

342
00:37:53,159 --> 00:37:59,320
in this part he was trying to get me to admit
guilt or some sort of ownership

343
00:38:08,519 --> 00:38:14,280
raping did finally stop when they finally got
what they wanted I locked

344
00:38:14,280 --> 00:38:19,960
myself in the bathroom and I eventually it
was it was starting to get light at

345
00:38:19,960 --> 00:38:24,840
that point and I eventually came out and they
had ordered room service and we're

346
00:38:32,000 --> 00:38:38,920
said get out now and they were like oh no
want a french fry like stop stop

347
00:38:38,920 --> 00:38:46,039
looking so sad and like wanted to do more and
I didn't realize that they had

348
00:38:46,039 --> 00:38:49,079
canceled the whole other hotel they had
booked for me they expected me to stay

349
00:38:58,360 --> 00:39:06,640
it like awful being violated but it was like
physically gruesome and horrendous

350
00:39:06,640 --> 00:39:12,880
horribly painful right it seems like they
didn't even care to edit out like

351
00:39:12,880 --> 00:39:17,039
your own blood because it was just part of it
so was that just part of it no I

352
00:39:21,240 --> 00:39:29,480
appear consensual yeah the video is a little
less than an hour okay and yeah I

353
00:39:29,480 --> 00:39:33,880
don't I don't think I've I've seen it I don't
think that it really showed the

354
00:39:33,880 --> 00:39:38,960
blood that was covering the bed strategic and
they they didn't let me

355
00:39:38,960 --> 00:39:45,000
leave they brought me back to Andre Garcia's
apartment in the morning I

356
00:39:51,840 --> 00:39:57,400
me to film a solo scene and then they wanted
me to film a threesome scene and

357
00:39:57,400 --> 00:40:02,640
I said absolutely not during the the night
before Teddy had kept saying like

358
00:40:02,640 --> 00:40:10,559
oh give us a give us a little teaser of your
of your solo tomorrow and I'm like

359
00:40:10,559 --> 00:40:14,199
what I don't even know what you're talking
about and he was like you have

360
00:40:18,640 --> 00:40:24,199
then there's more of all those stages of
trauma I did the fighting I did the

361
00:40:24,199 --> 00:40:30,240
screaming it didn't help and the threats got
worse and worse and when they

362
00:40:30,240 --> 00:40:34,880
brought my family into it I would have done
anything to get out of it at that

363
00:40:34,880 --> 00:40:39,240
point and so I said oh yeah I'll give you
what you want so eventually in the

364
00:40:39,240 --> 00:40:43,840
morning they're like okay so we cancelled
your flight home you're gonna

365
00:40:48,699 --> 00:40:53,039
whatever you want I'm not I'm not doing
anything else and they had picked up

366
00:40:53,039 --> 00:40:57,519
another girl at that point and I told her she
needed to run and she knew what

367
00:40:57,519 --> 00:41:02,559
she was there for she's not part of the case
at all and I was like no you don't

368
00:41:02,559 --> 00:41:04,920
understand

369
00:40:57,719 --> 00:41:03,639
there for. She's not part of the case at all
and I was like no you don't understand you

370
00:41:03,639 --> 00:41:12,920
out of here and Andre got more aggressive
that day, tried other things. There was mo...

371
00:41:12,920 --> 00:41:19,400
and sexual trauma that day and eventually
when I just refused to comply and they kne...

372
00:41:25,480 --> 00:41:35,400
Through the process did they force you to
take any drugs or alcohol? Yes after they

373
00:41:35,400 --> 00:41:40,360
sign the paperwork they forced me to smoke
marijuana and gave me four shots of vodka.

374
00:41:40,360 --> 00:41:46,920
Yeah I can see it in my eyes like I look I
look dead inside and that's exactly how I

375
00:41:54,679 --> 00:42:01,000
very unique name a week and a half two weeks
later. A lot more happened in that time.

376
00:42:01,000 --> 00:42:09,880
I tried to call Michael Pratt at one point
and say like absolutely not. Once you were

377
00:42:09,880 --> 00:42:16,839
No while I was still at Andre's. You got your
phone back? No Andre let me use his phone

378
00:42:21,400 --> 00:42:30,199
and Pratt started going off on me saying
you're not as hot as we thought you were.

379
00:42:30,199 --> 00:42:35,159
not as good as we thought you as we thought
it was. We're not going to pay you anymore.

380
00:42:35,159 --> 00:42:42,039
Yeah a lot of degrading, a lot of swearing,
lots of yelling and I'm like please just l...

381
00:42:49,079 --> 00:42:53,400
I didn't know how long I would be there and
yeah by the time I got home when I got pic...

382
00:42:53,400 --> 00:43:02,279
the airport I was so traumatized. I thought
as long as no one knows, as long as no one

383
00:43:02,279 --> 00:43:08,599
I can just bury it and hopefully it goes away
and I did go to the doctor

384
00:43:14,199 --> 00:43:25,799
the internal injuries from the horrific rape.
It wasn't just rough sex. It was complete

385
00:43:25,799 --> 00:43:33,239
When you say that if you just buried it it
would all go away. Was that the case? Did ...

386
00:43:33,239 --> 00:43:40,440
bury it? Did it go away? No I'm even letting
my family think the worst of me which in

387
00:43:46,519 --> 00:43:54,359
Worse than the abuse? Having them think I was
a porn star yes that was worse than the abuse

388
00:43:54,359 --> 00:44:02,440
in my mind. Having them think the absolute
worst of me. I still have a big family and...

389
00:44:02,440 --> 00:44:10,199
moments at family gatherings where I'll feel
like oh I should just leave early. I don't

390
00:44:17,639 --> 00:44:25,960
relationships. I have a lot of like deep
rooted anger and resentment that no one

391
00:44:25,960 --> 00:44:34,039
like could see the cry for help. Right. And I
will be honest I was very good at hiding it

392
00:44:40,599 --> 00:44:46,440
herself because she's so ashamed because she
embarrassed our family so much because

393
00:44:46,440 --> 00:44:54,039
knows and like my dad's friends had seen it
like my parents had seen it. Because it wa...

394
00:44:54,039 --> 00:45:01,480
porn sites. Yeah the link that everyone was
getting was from Pornhub and I thought oka...

395
00:45:07,239 --> 00:45:16,039
And I now like going on on dates or with
friends or a lot of people in my life I

396
00:45:16,039 --> 00:45:20,279
I owe it to them to just tell them right away
because I'm like oh you'll find out anyway.

397
00:45:20,279 --> 00:45:27,400
And I almost think oh once you find out you
won't want to date me or you won't want to...

398
00:45:33,159 --> 00:45:38,279
Like you want to contextualize it right off
the get go so they understand what happened.

399
00:45:38,279 --> 00:45:45,000
It's more I just like want to warn them how
broken I am sometimes. Now I like with the

400
00:45:45,000 --> 00:45:51,079
there's proof. Yeah. So I can be like no I
was human trafficked. Yes there's a

401
00:45:51,079 --> 00:45:57,400
video of me out there. Here is the 20-year
sentencing. Yeah. But before there was pro...

402
00:46:03,239 --> 00:46:09,239
thing. Yes it was trafficking. But I didn't
feel like anyone would believe me anyway s...

403
00:46:09,239 --> 00:46:15,719
of became a shell of my former self. I wasn't
like the gregarious vivacious bubbly girl ...

404
00:46:15,719 --> 00:46:22,440
as a kid and growing up and I feel like they
took that from me. What was the time frame

405
00:46:29,799 --> 00:46:35,239
of them being charged with sex trafficking.
How many years was it between those two

406
00:46:35,239 --> 00:46:45,079
Andre Garcia was just charged in June of
2021. So it was years. Five years. It was

407
00:46:54,440 --> 00:47:04,440
groups of girls. So I became Jane Doe 18 and
that's when I told my family hey I joined ...

408
00:47:04,440 --> 00:47:10,039
trial. They said oh you're just embarrassed
trying to get this off the internet huh? A...

409
00:47:10,039 --> 00:47:15,880
this is what happened. During the sentencing
I didn't let anyone come with me. I didn't

410
00:47:21,079 --> 00:47:27,799
I wrote with you guys but it took years to
get to a place where I could even

411
00:47:27,799 --> 00:47:33,559
like talk about it and it's been six and a
half years and I feel like just

412
00:47:33,559 --> 00:47:43,400
since testifying against Andre Garcia last
June I feel like that gave me some of my l...

413
00:47:49,559 --> 00:47:58,199
Yeah. Has your mom and family increased their
understanding and empathy as the convictions

414
00:47:58,199 --> 00:48:05,400
have come out and they better understand the
situation? Yeah I think having proof. It's

415
00:48:05,400 --> 00:48:11,000
that it takes that. Right. My family has been
great and way more understanding. It's mor...

416
00:48:19,000 --> 00:48:25,000
of say or let one guy that stood me up I can
send him an article and be like there you go

417
00:48:25,000 --> 00:48:31,719
you're a jackass. Yeah. And at the same time
I don't blame people. I know it is a lot o...

418
00:48:31,719 --> 00:48:38,440
We do all have trauma. We all have things in
our closets. Sometimes we're just afraid t...

419
00:48:45,000 --> 00:48:52,679
want to educate people. I want to make sure
this isn't a taboo to talk about. I want to

420
00:48:52,679 --> 00:49:01,719
reduce the stigmas against it. Do you mind if
I interrupt? No please do. Your initial

421
00:49:11,319 --> 00:49:18,279
it alone. And we know that's not the best
approach to trauma but it's a natural

422
00:49:18,279 --> 00:49:25,719
do that. Absolutely. I'm just curious how
it's been. How has it been for you to

423
00:49:25,719 --> 00:49:32,119
out about it to own that that happened and if
it's been helpful to talk more about it.

424
00:49:33,559 --> 00:49:40,279
I think when I finally opened up to my family
I was terrified that they wouldn't believe me

425
00:49:40,279 --> 00:49:49,000
and I had the evidence at that point. And
since I opened up to them it's gotten easier.

426
00:49:49,000 --> 00:49:57,319
Mostly since we put Garcia away for 20 years
I couldn't. I was the only girl that hadn't

427
00:50:04,039 --> 00:50:12,199
to the judge or brought it handwritten and
had it ready. I typed mine out on my phone

428
00:50:12,199 --> 00:50:20,759
in my hand while the first couple of girls
were testifying. And I waited in a differe...

429
00:50:27,000 --> 00:50:31,639
So I didn't even know what I was going to
say. I didn't even really know if I could ...

430
00:50:31,639 --> 00:50:37,639
And I didn't have anyone there supporting me.
Should have brought cozy darn it. That would

431
00:50:37,639 --> 00:50:41,800
have been really nice. It would have been
helpful. I had stitches on my arms. I had

432
00:50:41,800 --> 00:50:48,519
just tried to die a week before. So I didn't
even know if I could do it. And I think that

433
00:50:56,039 --> 00:51:03,399
resentment and they have every right. And a
lot of people said you're incapable of

434
00:51:03,399 --> 00:51:12,039
Who's incapable of change? Andre Garcia. Oh
yeah. And he wouldn't make eye contact wit...

435
00:51:12,039 --> 00:51:17,319
And I asked the judge at one point at the end
of my testimony if I could address him.

436
00:51:25,880 --> 00:51:31,559
feel this way. I said it's not up to me to
judge the worth of your soul. But I truly

437
00:51:31,559 --> 00:51:38,679
you do change one day. And the only reason I
testified was so that he couldn't keep

438
00:51:38,679 --> 00:51:46,440
girls. That's the only reason I'm here today
so that we can educate people. But that si...

439
00:51:53,239 --> 00:52:02,679
articles with you guys, it was validating.
And it does help me heal because I still h...

440
00:52:02,679 --> 00:52:10,119
guilt. I still crave validation. I don't even
realize that sometimes. That's human nature.

441
00:52:16,840 --> 00:52:21,719
someone's hand and let them talk about it. I
think a lot of the times when we have frie...

442
00:52:21,719 --> 00:52:27,719
family, you say, "Hey, I'm struggling." And
they automatically say, "Oh, we'll go

443
00:52:27,719 --> 00:52:34,119
like last night I was having a hard time
because of... Today? Oh, because of the...

444
00:52:40,759 --> 00:52:48,679
all of these girls." And being lumped in
there, being called a porn star, being thi...

445
00:52:48,679 --> 00:52:54,359
we got awarded millions of dollars in this
settlement. I've never seen a dime of that

446
00:52:54,359 --> 00:53:02,440
I've never done any of this for money.
Hospital bills, therapy, it's all

447
00:53:09,000 --> 00:53:17,880
yes, he pled guilty. He should have years
ago. Andre Garcia got 20 years. Some women

448
00:53:17,880 --> 00:53:22,199
he should have gotten life. It is validating.
I'm grateful that we have a justice system

449
00:53:22,199 --> 00:53:30,359
does lifts into us and that we are seeing
some justice. But every time a trial comes

450
00:53:36,359 --> 00:53:42,039
I'll probably change my phone number again
soon. And it's something that I just have ...

451
00:53:42,039 --> 00:53:48,679
myself for. I'm not using my name today in
this because I don't want to make this

452
00:53:48,679 --> 00:53:55,719
about me. I want to give all of the other
girls the amount of compassion that they

453
00:54:03,159 --> 00:54:11,159
story, but we all had awful trauma. We all
have to deal with it. We all get lumped in...

454
00:54:11,159 --> 00:54:18,119
categories. We're considered the JDs, the GDP
girls, and there's like Reddit feeds calli...

455
00:54:18,119 --> 00:54:24,039
all sorts of things like, oh, they're just
trying to soup porn hub to get more money.

456
00:54:31,880 --> 00:54:35,800
And I just want to say, if at some point you
do receive money, that's justice.

457
00:54:35,800 --> 00:54:41,639
Yeah, it would help pay for therapy and
things that these women desperately need.

458
00:54:36,560 --> 00:54:41,240
I would help pay for therapy and things that
these women death. That's how it works

459
00:54:41,240 --> 00:54:47,360
Yeah, they hit all of their assets though. I
think that that's something that is good f...

460
00:54:47,360 --> 00:54:52,260
That that first lawsuit we did where we did
sue JDP

461
00:54:52,260 --> 00:54:56,620
We've never seen a dime from it. Yeah, and
like who knows if we ever will

462
00:55:03,800 --> 00:55:06,480
There's evidence that Michael Pratt said

463
00:55:06,480 --> 00:55:12,980
When I bankrupt this company these girls are
fucked. Yes, so he did declare bankruptcy

464
00:55:12,980 --> 00:55:15,600
before

465
00:55:15,600 --> 00:55:17,200
fleeing

466
00:55:17,200 --> 00:55:20,580
That was wool for Pratt. That was Pratt. That
was Pratt

467
00:55:20,580 --> 00:55:27,080
And I remember yeah, and our lawyers have
said like we we think he's hidden all of h...

468
00:55:29,360 --> 00:55:32,880
so we we've just kind of accepted like I

469
00:55:32,880 --> 00:55:36,400
Never went into it for that. I went into it
to

470
00:55:36,400 --> 00:55:43,400
Fight for other women. We are grateful that
you're doing that. Thank you the world's a

471
00:55:43,400 --> 00:55:46,720
It's getting yeah, it's getting easier and
easier to talk about

472
00:55:46,720 --> 00:55:53,480
I think it's important to note too that y'all
are not just going after this from a legal

473
00:56:01,240 --> 00:56:06,519
Right, and so you're not this isn't a
monetary gain thing. This is often like

474
00:56:06,519 --> 00:56:10,300
Dignity to have these videos of your
exploitation take it down and all yeah

475
00:56:10,300 --> 00:56:18,800
What was the response like and when was the
first time that you tried to have a takedo...

476
00:56:24,720 --> 00:56:28,940
Request I sent was to porn hub because that
was the first place. I saw it

477
00:56:28,940 --> 00:56:31,600
I didn't get a response

478
00:56:31,600 --> 00:56:35,960
It wasn't taken down and then I realized

479
00:56:35,960 --> 00:56:43,920
Once I was sent more and more and more links
and once more people were showing it to me

480
00:56:43,920 --> 00:56:48,480
I kind of realized it's like a drop in a
bucket at that point

481
00:56:50,320 --> 00:56:54,680
Still do this. I still make the mistake of
googling myself. Um when I feel strong

482
00:56:54,680 --> 00:57:00,200
I usually do it like once a month right now,
which is why I know it was just recently

483
00:57:00,200 --> 00:57:03,200
I think I've

484
00:57:03,200 --> 00:57:06,760
Managed to probably get it taken off of four
websites

485
00:57:06,760 --> 00:57:10,280
Permanently

486
00:57:10,280 --> 00:57:16,480
You can still Google it it still shows up on
like a thumbnail the image is still there

487
00:57:21,080 --> 00:57:24,280
illicit image study with Google

488
00:57:24,280 --> 00:57:26,960
They are trying to improve

489
00:57:26,960 --> 00:57:30,120
their system, but like there's

490
00:57:30,120 --> 00:57:33,440
Dropping a bucket. There's horrible

491
00:57:33,440 --> 00:57:40,400
Pornography all over the internet and the
more I try to get mine taken down. I feel

492
00:57:48,720 --> 00:57:53,360
pornographic websites will have like a
contact us at the bottom

493
00:57:53,360 --> 00:58:02,240
And so I'll send the link and say hey this is
illegal. This was human trafficking. This ...

494
00:58:02,240 --> 00:58:07,160
I have court documents proving it. I'll
attach those if I need to

495
00:58:13,280 --> 00:58:18,560
But I realized like the more I look it up the
sicker I get and

496
00:58:18,560 --> 00:58:21,080
so I

497
00:58:21,080 --> 00:58:23,080
Have just had to get stronger

498
00:58:23,080 --> 00:58:27,720
It happened six and a half years ago some
some women it happened over nine years ago...

499
00:58:27,720 --> 00:58:29,720
And it's still reposted

500
00:58:29,720 --> 00:58:32,360
constantly and I mean a huge part of that is
because

501
00:58:38,920 --> 00:58:45,640
And after Nicholas Kristoff the children of
Pornhub article in December 2020. Yeah, I ...

502
00:58:45,640 --> 00:58:47,960
We're going to

503
00:58:47,960 --> 00:58:49,960
sever their

504
00:58:49,960 --> 00:58:52,039
Their working relationship with

505
00:58:52,039 --> 00:58:57,400
Pornhub thank goodness. Yeah, that was when
Pornhub said. Oh, okay. Well, we'll take d...

506
00:58:57,400 --> 00:59:02,480
What we'll we'll remove the download option.
Yeah, try to verify more of these

507
00:59:03,960 --> 00:59:07,079
Accounts and sites. Yeah, and content, but

508
00:59:07,079 --> 00:59:12,600
X videos, which is the largest porn tube site
in the whole world. They get about three

509
00:59:12,600 --> 00:59:17,960
Visitors. Yeah, I've seen my video on both of
those. They still have a download button

510
00:59:17,960 --> 00:59:24,320
Yes, they do and this is something that a lot
of people don't understand is once somethi...

511
00:59:24,320 --> 00:59:29,720
YouTube it's it's you have to go through
multiple steps to download content. Mm-hmm...

512
00:59:34,200 --> 00:59:40,680
Yeah, or you can just screen record on your
computer or your phone exactly and so peop...

513
00:59:40,680 --> 00:59:48,600
They're they're so greedy asking for more
when they have the ownership rights when t...

514
00:59:48,600 --> 00:59:52,120
Yeah, that's that's the the money hungry
whores. There's a big reddit

515
01:00:01,920 --> 01:00:06,800
I'm using people's names links to videos on
other sites

516
01:00:06,800 --> 01:00:14,160
Reddit hasn't done anything about taking
those down and they they post our personal

517
01:00:14,160 --> 01:00:21,360
Like my parents have received letters saying
we're gonna come into your home and rape y...

518
01:00:24,600 --> 01:00:27,360
fan page for myself

519
01:00:27,360 --> 01:00:29,800
that had pictures of

520
01:00:29,800 --> 01:00:33,480
Me with my nieces and nephews pictures of me
growing up

521
01:00:33,480 --> 01:00:38,280
pictures of my family of one of my weddings

522
01:00:38,280 --> 01:00:41,640
pictures of cozy I

523
01:00:41,640 --> 01:00:43,560
Think that

524
01:00:43,560 --> 01:00:48,360
Disgusts me more than anything that they are
they're not only hurting us

525
01:00:56,700 --> 01:00:58,880
believes it

526
01:00:58,880 --> 01:01:00,880
even though we've

527
01:01:00,880 --> 01:01:03,320
Been working with the FBI

528
01:01:03,320 --> 01:01:11,640
Even though we have won lawsuits. We have had
some justice, but it's still oh, oh money

529
01:01:11,640 --> 01:01:14,880
They're they're just porn stars. They just
want more

530
01:01:14,880 --> 01:01:18,840
They just oh, they're just embarrassed that
it got so big

531
01:01:19,480 --> 01:01:25,880
But that's not true at all. That's never been
true going back to the name of the podcast

532
01:01:25,880 --> 01:01:28,320
We hope that our listeners

533
01:01:28,320 --> 01:01:33,440
Stop the demand for sex trafficking by
refusing to consume pornography

534
01:01:33,440 --> 01:01:40,079
And one of the things that needs to be
considered is what you are consuming may n...

535
01:01:40,079 --> 01:01:42,680
Even when it looks consensual

536
01:01:42,680 --> 01:01:46,440
Do you want to take a break? Yeah, that'd be
great

537
01:01:50,140 --> 01:01:56,000
Regardless of age ethnicity gender sexual
orientation

538
01:01:56,000 --> 01:02:04,079
Religious affiliation political persuasion or
any other diversifying factor porn can imp...

539
01:02:04,079 --> 01:02:10,800
If you've recognized the harmful effects of
pornography in your life or recognize the

540
01:02:10,800 --> 01:02:15,920
We welcome you to become a fighter as
fighters. We strive to be bold

541
01:02:23,520 --> 01:02:28,520
Ftnd.org/fighter. That's Ftnd.org/fighter

542
01:02:28,520 --> 01:02:34,920
Join us in our fight for love by becoming a
fighter today

543
01:02:34,920 --> 01:02:43,560
Thanks for joining us on this episode of
consider before consuming consider before

544
01:02:50,440 --> 01:02:59,440
Opportunity to make an informed decision
regarding pornography by raising awareness...

545
01:02:59,440 --> 01:03:06,100
If you'd like to learn more about today's
guest and the conversation we had you can

546
01:03:06,100 --> 01:03:12,280
If you've enjoyed listening to consider
before consuming consider subscribing and

547
01:03:15,920 --> 01:03:22,280
We invite you to increase your self-awareness
look both ways check your blind spots and