1
00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:04,000
Look, honey. Billy's home from his camping trip.

2
00:00:04,000 --> 00:00:09,000
Uh-oh. Looks like somebody got raped by Father Flanagan.

3
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Again.

4
00:00:15,000 --> 00:00:17,000
Hey, sport. Fun trip?

5
00:00:17,000 --> 00:00:21,000
I'm gonna go cut myself razor blades.

6
00:00:21,000 --> 00:00:24,000
Maybe we need to complain to the Archdiocese.

7
00:00:24,000 --> 00:00:28,000
Great idea. I'm sure the church will take quick, decisive action.

8
00:00:28,000 --> 00:00:33,000
Anyway, I've got a better idea.

9
00:00:33,000 --> 00:00:35,000
Priestoff? What's that?

10
00:00:35,000 --> 00:00:40,000
It works just like insect spray, only it's been scientifically formulated to repel ordained clergy.

11
00:00:40,000 --> 00:00:41,000
Wow, tell me more.

12
00:00:41,000 --> 00:00:46,000
Look at how these priests swarm around this unprotected altar boy like insatiable locusts.

13
00:00:46,000 --> 00:00:48,000
But this altar boy has been sprayed with priestoff.

14
00:00:48,000 --> 00:00:55,000
They won't even go near him, much less ply him with liquor, sodomize him, and then threaten him with eternal damnation if he tells someone.

15
00:00:55,000 --> 00:00:57,000
Hurry up, sport. Don't want to be late for church.

16
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Church? Yes!

17
00:01:01,000 --> 00:01:03,000
Thanks, priestoff.

18
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Priestoff. Designed by atheists so you know you can trust it with your kids.

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