1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:03,200 He kept saying to the press, Debbie McGee fancies me. 2 00:00:03,360 --> 00:00:04,160 I do, doesn't he? 3 00:00:04,580 --> 00:00:06,140 Well, the chemistry can't be denied. 4 00:00:06,400 --> 00:00:07,520 Do we think this is true? 5 00:00:08,800 --> 00:00:11,200 Why not put your arm round a nice young man? 6 00:00:11,360 --> 00:00:12,620 I don't put my arm round a airport. 7 00:00:12,800 --> 00:00:13,140 No. 8 00:00:13,940 --> 00:00:16,800 I had his measure from about the first ten seconds. 9 00:00:17,540 --> 00:00:20,360 It took him about ten weeks to get my measure. 10 00:00:20,860 --> 00:00:21,200 Next! 11 00:00:21,600 --> 00:00:22,780 Next, don't start that. 12 00:00:23,840 --> 00:00:25,180 He didn't like that either. 13 00:00:30,000 --> 00:00:41,080 When I was approached by the BBC for this guy, Louis Thoreau, 14 00:00:41,800 --> 00:00:45,480 I must admit I'd not actually seen him. 15 00:00:47,060 --> 00:00:49,280 I saw the Swingers one from L.A. 16 00:00:49,280 --> 00:00:52,940 I couldn't believe that someone was making a programme and going in there. 17 00:00:53,160 --> 00:00:57,760 So I'd seen him do that, but I hadn't linked at first that it was Louis 18 00:00:57,760 --> 00:01:00,820 until after we'd started working with him. 19 00:01:00,900 --> 00:01:03,500 And then I thought, oh, yeah, of course, it's him. 20 00:01:05,500 --> 00:01:07,460 We saw the Jimmy Savile programme 21 00:01:07,460 --> 00:01:10,160 and the Paul Daniels and Debbie McGee programme. 22 00:01:11,420 --> 00:01:13,080 And, um, so we were... 23 00:01:13,080 --> 00:01:14,620 We thought, we can handle this man. 24 00:01:16,600 --> 00:01:18,600 And I thought, oh, look at that. 25 00:01:18,660 --> 00:01:19,380 I wonder if they... 26 00:01:19,380 --> 00:01:20,480 No, they never ask me. 27 00:01:20,580 --> 00:01:21,140 I'm not hip. 28 00:01:21,240 --> 00:01:22,240 Nobody knows who I am. 29 00:01:22,280 --> 00:01:23,200 They all think I'm dead. 30 00:01:23,200 --> 00:01:29,860 Chris. 31 00:01:30,940 --> 00:01:31,580 Where's Louis? 32 00:01:31,800 --> 00:01:32,420 I'm here. 33 00:01:32,480 --> 00:01:33,060 What are you doing? 34 00:01:33,400 --> 00:01:33,460 Yay! 35 00:01:34,680 --> 00:01:35,420 How are you guys? 36 00:01:35,620 --> 00:01:38,100 My goal was entertaining the public, one, 37 00:01:38,620 --> 00:01:41,840 but two, also pointing out to the public 38 00:01:41,840 --> 00:01:44,780 that I am just an all-right person. 39 00:01:44,920 --> 00:01:49,540 I'm not this villain that I was made out to be by the media. 40 00:01:49,540 --> 00:01:50,980 Oh, no, please. 41 00:01:51,200 --> 00:01:51,400 What? 42 00:01:51,620 --> 00:01:51,820 What? 43 00:01:51,940 --> 00:01:52,340 No. 44 00:01:53,020 --> 00:01:55,580 I'm, I'm, I'm, I don't know, I'm retired now. 45 00:01:55,800 --> 00:01:57,180 And plus you can't afford me. 46 00:01:57,320 --> 00:01:57,560 Really? 47 00:01:57,560 --> 00:01:58,820 I'm far too expensive, yes. 48 00:01:59,400 --> 00:02:01,240 I'm sure you're probably going to get some good television 49 00:02:01,240 --> 00:02:02,800 and actually hit me once I'm being careful. 50 00:02:02,880 --> 00:02:03,200 Kidding. 51 00:02:03,620 --> 00:02:06,480 A lot of people say to me, you've got to be very wary, you know. 52 00:02:06,540 --> 00:02:07,840 You must be mad doing that. 53 00:02:07,900 --> 00:02:08,900 You must be stupid. 54 00:02:09,160 --> 00:02:10,400 Here, crucify you. 55 00:02:10,860 --> 00:02:13,160 Does Orville have a version of this blue one as well? 56 00:02:13,220 --> 00:02:13,780 There it is. 57 00:02:13,800 --> 00:02:14,660 There it is. 58 00:02:15,220 --> 00:02:16,060 There it is. 59 00:02:16,060 --> 00:02:16,940 There it is. 60 00:02:17,280 --> 00:02:18,460 And socks too? 61 00:02:18,800 --> 00:02:19,560 I know they're mine. 62 00:02:20,180 --> 00:02:22,460 There's 80% of people saying, no way, 63 00:02:22,880 --> 00:02:25,160 and the other percent saying, it's another telly. 64 00:02:26,040 --> 00:02:26,840 Yeah, have a go. 65 00:02:26,920 --> 00:02:27,460 Why not? 66 00:02:28,120 --> 00:02:34,740 I felt that by doing a national video paper interview, 67 00:02:35,320 --> 00:02:37,720 the people could then make their own mind up 68 00:02:37,720 --> 00:02:40,200 and not get the opinion of somebody else. 69 00:02:40,500 --> 00:02:44,600 We actually felt that there might be an advantage to us 70 00:02:44,600 --> 00:02:46,840 in revealing ourselves as we really are, 71 00:02:46,840 --> 00:02:48,500 because people had previously seen us 72 00:02:48,500 --> 00:02:51,760 through the sort of refracting prism of the press, 73 00:02:51,860 --> 00:02:53,740 the way the press wanted them to see us. 74 00:02:54,200 --> 00:02:56,800 And we thought this is a chance for people to see us as we really are. 75 00:02:56,800 --> 00:02:57,640 Oh, is that... 76 00:02:57,640 --> 00:02:58,440 Is that okay? 77 00:02:58,720 --> 00:03:00,540 And because we're shameless self-publicists 78 00:03:00,540 --> 00:03:01,160 and for the money. 79 00:03:03,860 --> 00:03:04,900 Cut that, please. 80 00:03:05,160 --> 00:03:05,800 How do you do? 81 00:03:05,960 --> 00:03:06,760 I've got a mouth full of bellum. 82 00:03:06,760 --> 00:03:07,500 Nice to meet you. 83 00:03:07,500 --> 00:03:08,280 You're Christine. 84 00:03:08,400 --> 00:03:08,780 I'm Louie. 85 00:03:08,900 --> 00:03:09,280 You're Louie. 86 00:03:09,360 --> 00:03:09,780 Dolly good. 87 00:03:09,940 --> 00:03:10,640 This is Louie. 88 00:03:10,780 --> 00:03:11,060 Hello. 89 00:03:11,200 --> 00:03:11,700 Hello, Louie. 90 00:03:11,880 --> 00:03:12,380 Hello, Mum. 91 00:03:14,220 --> 00:03:16,840 People do, and that's pay good money, 92 00:03:17,120 --> 00:03:18,220 to look at us. 93 00:03:18,580 --> 00:03:20,020 Oh, for goodness sake. 94 00:03:20,600 --> 00:03:21,180 Oh, they do. 95 00:03:21,300 --> 00:03:21,980 Of course they do. 96 00:03:23,060 --> 00:03:23,860 Of course they do. 97 00:03:24,080 --> 00:03:26,780 They come to dinners 98 00:03:26,780 --> 00:03:28,680 or events that we're present at. 99 00:03:29,200 --> 00:03:29,700 That's not... 100 00:03:29,700 --> 00:03:31,060 Oh, let's go and look at the Hamiltons. 101 00:03:31,060 --> 00:03:31,620 No, darling. 102 00:03:32,560 --> 00:03:34,180 No, I mean, you must... 103 00:03:34,180 --> 00:03:34,720 You must come. 104 00:03:34,780 --> 00:03:36,080 That's a ridiculous thing to say. 105 00:03:36,160 --> 00:03:37,540 The people come because we're speaking, 106 00:03:37,660 --> 00:03:38,480 and we're good speakers. 107 00:03:38,580 --> 00:03:39,620 It's not just going to look at us. 108 00:03:39,680 --> 00:03:41,240 Make it sound like circus freaks. 109 00:03:46,980 --> 00:03:48,020 Good to meet you. 110 00:03:48,120 --> 00:03:48,520 How are you? 111 00:03:48,640 --> 00:03:49,420 Yeah, not too bad. 112 00:03:49,480 --> 00:03:49,980 How are you doing? 113 00:03:50,320 --> 00:03:51,120 You're better looking than me. 114 00:03:51,180 --> 00:03:51,640 You'll have to go. 115 00:03:52,200 --> 00:03:53,480 Anybody better looking than me? 116 00:03:53,600 --> 00:03:54,000 That's it. 117 00:03:54,240 --> 00:03:54,860 Step this way. 118 00:03:54,860 --> 00:03:55,940 How are you feeling? 119 00:03:56,580 --> 00:03:57,060 Regularly. 120 00:03:57,160 --> 00:03:57,560 How are you? 121 00:03:57,740 --> 00:03:58,640 Not too bad. 122 00:03:58,860 --> 00:03:59,260 Marvellous. 123 00:03:59,320 --> 00:04:01,160 I'm like a butcher's dog, as it happens, 124 00:04:01,500 --> 00:04:03,300 and there's nothing more fitter and stronger 125 00:04:03,300 --> 00:04:04,000 than a butcher's dog. 126 00:04:04,120 --> 00:04:04,340 Yeah. 127 00:04:04,440 --> 00:04:06,640 All the scraps, all the bones, all the hair. 128 00:04:07,640 --> 00:04:11,300 I have an instant reaction to people. 129 00:04:12,160 --> 00:04:13,420 I've been a voluntary helper 130 00:04:13,420 --> 00:04:17,200 in the psychiatric world for 40 years, 131 00:04:17,200 --> 00:04:19,900 and you have to have an instant appreciation 132 00:04:19,900 --> 00:04:21,760 of psychiatric patients. 133 00:04:22,200 --> 00:04:24,100 Otherwise, you could finish up either damaged or dead. 134 00:04:24,600 --> 00:04:26,140 You weren't born in this flat, though? 135 00:04:26,380 --> 00:04:26,600 No. 136 00:04:26,800 --> 00:04:27,720 I was born in this city. 137 00:04:27,860 --> 00:04:28,060 Yeah. 138 00:04:28,280 --> 00:04:28,840 You're not listening? 139 00:04:29,080 --> 00:04:29,680 No, no, no, no. 140 00:04:29,680 --> 00:04:30,900 I didn't say I was born in the city. 141 00:04:31,000 --> 00:04:32,100 Yeah, but this flat's in the city. 142 00:04:32,440 --> 00:04:32,860 Yeah, I know. 143 00:04:32,940 --> 00:04:33,660 I was born in the city. 144 00:04:33,740 --> 00:04:33,960 Yeah. 145 00:04:34,180 --> 00:04:34,360 Yeah. 146 00:04:34,680 --> 00:04:34,840 Yeah. 147 00:04:34,840 --> 00:04:36,020 First impression was, 148 00:04:36,300 --> 00:04:38,720 he appeared to be a sincere sort of lad, 149 00:04:39,020 --> 00:04:40,100 a naive sort of lad, 150 00:04:40,500 --> 00:04:42,120 but he was naive like a fox, 151 00:04:42,540 --> 00:04:44,000 and the fox gets the chicken. 152 00:04:44,380 --> 00:04:47,360 So you don't have a wife and family? 153 00:04:47,420 --> 00:04:47,860 No. 154 00:04:48,100 --> 00:04:48,660 None whatsoever. 155 00:04:48,780 --> 00:04:49,060 Really? 156 00:04:49,260 --> 00:04:49,680 None whatsoever. 157 00:04:49,740 --> 00:04:50,760 I'll leave that to other people. 158 00:04:50,820 --> 00:04:51,080 Why? 159 00:04:51,480 --> 00:04:52,620 So I thought, 160 00:04:52,720 --> 00:04:54,040 we'll have a good bit of sport here, 161 00:04:54,720 --> 00:04:56,760 because I'm an Arctic wolf, 162 00:04:57,640 --> 00:04:59,040 and foxes stand no chance. 163 00:04:59,280 --> 00:05:01,000 Foxes get eaten by Arctic wolves. 164 00:05:02,760 --> 00:05:03,920 We've got him on the ropes. 165 00:05:04,720 --> 00:05:05,720 I've got him on the ropes. 166 00:05:06,100 --> 00:05:06,880 He's on the ropes. 167 00:05:07,360 --> 00:05:08,900 And there's that Louis smile again. 168 00:05:09,120 --> 00:05:09,900 He's on the ropes. 169 00:05:10,280 --> 00:05:11,400 Why am I on the ropes? 170 00:05:12,060 --> 00:05:13,140 You should know that. 171 00:05:13,300 --> 00:05:13,540 Yeah. 172 00:05:14,120 --> 00:05:18,040 You see, he's got these great big eyes at Louis, 173 00:05:18,160 --> 00:05:20,660 and he looks a bit sort of winsome and doe-like, 174 00:05:20,940 --> 00:05:24,480 and he sort of blinks and looks all innocent, 175 00:05:25,200 --> 00:05:26,900 as though butter wouldn't melt in the mouth. 176 00:05:26,900 --> 00:05:28,180 I mean, that's a very good act, 177 00:05:28,260 --> 00:05:29,200 but it's only an act. 178 00:05:29,900 --> 00:05:31,400 And he's, you know, he's no fool. 179 00:05:31,820 --> 00:05:33,400 But we weren't taken in. 180 00:05:33,400 --> 00:05:34,700 We knew he was no fool. 181 00:05:34,780 --> 00:05:36,520 Your hair looks more normal now. 182 00:05:39,180 --> 00:05:40,220 More normal. 183 00:05:40,480 --> 00:05:41,200 No, but do you know what I mean? 184 00:05:41,240 --> 00:05:43,120 Because before, it looked quite sort of, 185 00:05:43,660 --> 00:05:44,740 when you were doing the trial, 186 00:05:44,840 --> 00:05:45,420 it looked sort of, 187 00:05:45,440 --> 00:05:47,460 it was like a bit more metallic. 188 00:05:47,940 --> 00:05:48,300 Metallic. 189 00:05:48,420 --> 00:05:48,900 Do you know what I mean? 190 00:05:48,960 --> 00:05:49,420 Look harder. 191 00:05:49,500 --> 00:05:50,460 I thought, I'm going to lay, 192 00:05:50,820 --> 00:05:52,840 I'm going to lay the ground rules down 193 00:05:52,840 --> 00:05:53,700 for this, um, 194 00:05:54,060 --> 00:05:54,560 this little, um... 195 00:05:54,560 --> 00:05:56,260 Yeah, disconcert him right from the start 196 00:05:56,260 --> 00:05:57,200 by flobbering all over. 197 00:05:57,200 --> 00:05:58,820 You'll find I gave him a little kiss 198 00:05:58,820 --> 00:05:59,960 quite early on. 199 00:06:00,500 --> 00:06:01,520 Am I allowed to give you a kiss? 200 00:06:01,600 --> 00:06:01,800 No. 201 00:06:03,660 --> 00:06:04,320 Why not? 202 00:06:06,480 --> 00:06:09,300 What I expected wasn't what it turned out to be, 203 00:06:09,420 --> 00:06:11,460 because I'd never done anything 204 00:06:11,460 --> 00:06:13,360 that was sort of what you call fly on the wall. 205 00:06:13,360 --> 00:06:16,440 So, the first day that Louis arrived, 206 00:06:16,580 --> 00:06:18,440 I was really shocked that, you know, 207 00:06:18,500 --> 00:06:20,820 I wasn't given a chance to put my lipstick on 208 00:06:20,820 --> 00:06:21,840 and brush my hair. 209 00:06:22,480 --> 00:06:24,960 Em, I don't want you to film at this door. 210 00:06:25,500 --> 00:06:26,860 I want you to come to the other door, 211 00:06:26,920 --> 00:06:28,540 because this is the bit we haven't finished. 212 00:06:29,200 --> 00:06:31,960 He was not coming into my world. 213 00:06:32,460 --> 00:06:34,360 I was happy to have a little part of his. 214 00:06:35,640 --> 00:06:37,540 I really do appreciate you letting us 215 00:06:37,540 --> 00:06:38,880 actually stay over, Chris. 216 00:06:39,020 --> 00:06:40,300 That's service being the ball of duty. 217 00:06:40,300 --> 00:06:42,560 No, no, I really appreciate you taking the time 218 00:06:42,560 --> 00:06:45,800 to come and give me some of your time. 219 00:06:46,380 --> 00:06:47,040 Very good of you. 220 00:06:48,880 --> 00:06:49,820 Well, no problem. 221 00:06:49,920 --> 00:06:50,360 Any time. 222 00:06:50,860 --> 00:06:51,320 Any time? 223 00:06:51,460 --> 00:06:51,640 Yeah. 224 00:06:51,860 --> 00:06:52,980 I may hold you to that. 225 00:06:53,100 --> 00:06:53,360 Okay. 226 00:06:53,500 --> 00:06:54,480 Yes, very good. 227 00:06:55,480 --> 00:06:57,000 I'm going to need a bigger bathroom, though. 228 00:07:02,040 --> 00:07:03,960 I think he came with a brief. 229 00:07:04,080 --> 00:07:07,720 I think he came to be nosy, curious, 230 00:07:07,720 --> 00:07:09,720 find a skeleton in a cupboard, but... 231 00:07:09,720 --> 00:07:10,900 He is nosy. 232 00:07:11,220 --> 00:07:12,540 What about up here, Paul? 233 00:07:12,560 --> 00:07:13,080 Paul and Debbie? 234 00:07:13,280 --> 00:07:17,040 Well, no, all the bedrooms are currently being done. 235 00:07:17,120 --> 00:07:18,880 These books look like they might be quite valuable. 236 00:07:19,140 --> 00:07:21,320 Well, you don't want to see my underwear, do you, Louis, really? 237 00:07:21,520 --> 00:07:22,660 Oh, my goodness me. 238 00:07:23,340 --> 00:07:23,920 Sorry, Paul. 239 00:07:23,980 --> 00:07:25,800 He would be looking for... 240 00:07:27,020 --> 00:07:28,800 Maybe something that was salacious. 241 00:07:29,640 --> 00:07:30,340 A bag of condoms? 242 00:07:30,380 --> 00:07:30,920 Is that...? 243 00:07:30,920 --> 00:07:31,140 Yeah. 244 00:07:31,380 --> 00:07:32,860 Oh, sorry, a bit of dirt. 245 00:07:33,060 --> 00:07:37,680 A secret cache of booze that's been touched. 246 00:07:37,680 --> 00:07:40,980 There were no skeletons in no closets, and so there was no problems. 247 00:07:41,900 --> 00:07:42,260 Whoa. 248 00:07:42,640 --> 00:07:43,380 Look, Jimmy. 249 00:07:43,680 --> 00:07:43,880 What? 250 00:07:44,260 --> 00:07:45,760 This is a treasure trove. 251 00:07:45,800 --> 00:07:46,060 Is it? 252 00:07:46,440 --> 00:07:48,780 With Jimmy, he will tell you something voluntarily. 253 00:07:49,040 --> 00:07:49,720 Like, he'll explain. 254 00:07:50,280 --> 00:07:53,300 Cigars always got to be big, you see, because it shows up better on the TV. 255 00:07:53,920 --> 00:07:57,660 But if you asked him, like, why are you using a big cigar hoping for that answer? 256 00:07:58,120 --> 00:07:58,800 He goes, it's not big. 257 00:07:59,100 --> 00:08:00,060 It's just a normal size. 258 00:08:00,200 --> 00:08:04,180 You know, in other words, he's got this perverse streak whereby if he feels you're interested 259 00:08:04,180 --> 00:08:06,380 in something, he's like, oh, I'm not showing you that. 260 00:08:06,600 --> 00:08:08,880 But if he thinks you're not interested, you're like, oh, have a look at this. 261 00:08:08,880 --> 00:08:14,720 Which makes him such a joy to be around, really, because life's a constant game of cat and mouse. 262 00:08:15,020 --> 00:08:16,200 What do you chat about with the Queen? 263 00:08:16,280 --> 00:08:17,000 All sorts of things. 264 00:08:17,120 --> 00:08:17,320 Like? 265 00:08:17,520 --> 00:08:22,780 Like, like, what we chat about is a no-go area, so therefore that's what we chat about. 266 00:08:22,980 --> 00:08:25,080 Would you tell me privately and confidence, but the camera is a problem? 267 00:08:25,080 --> 00:08:27,120 No, because that still would be, no, it's not. 268 00:08:27,360 --> 00:08:29,680 People at home doesn't know, because the Queen... 269 00:08:29,680 --> 00:08:31,440 The camera is no problem whatsoever. 270 00:08:31,680 --> 00:08:31,880 Yeah. 271 00:08:32,360 --> 00:08:35,800 Because if you're not a grass, you're not a grass. 272 00:08:35,800 --> 00:08:40,540 We've got nothing to hide, and we are who we are, whether the cameras are there or not. 273 00:08:40,720 --> 00:08:42,180 I'm just asking you, are you saucy? 274 00:08:42,220 --> 00:08:42,920 I mean, I've always... 275 00:08:42,920 --> 00:08:44,440 Are you a little bit X-rated? 276 00:08:44,700 --> 00:08:45,560 No, not at all. 277 00:08:45,660 --> 00:08:52,460 I mean, it's been a permanent source of regret to me that the one thing I've never been involved in is a sex scandal. 278 00:08:52,720 --> 00:08:57,220 You know, right from the beginning, you know, I said, whatever you want to ask me, ask me. 279 00:08:57,480 --> 00:09:02,140 I once heard that when things weren't going well for you, and perhaps when you were drinking, 280 00:09:02,480 --> 00:09:04,660 you came off stage and you attacked Orville. 281 00:09:04,780 --> 00:09:05,440 Never ever did. 282 00:09:05,440 --> 00:09:06,980 You threw him to the ground and kicked him? 283 00:09:07,100 --> 00:09:08,780 Never ever done anything like that. 284 00:09:08,940 --> 00:09:11,820 I never really thought of myself as a nosy person. 285 00:09:15,900 --> 00:09:16,860 Maybe I am. 286 00:09:17,460 --> 00:09:21,580 I don't really, you know, when I think, like, who am I? 287 00:09:21,720 --> 00:09:23,040 I don't think, like, nosy. 288 00:09:23,240 --> 00:09:23,400 No. 289 00:09:23,400 --> 00:09:24,040 I don't think I'm going to do it. 290 00:09:24,040 --> 00:09:24,940 I don't think I'm going to do it. 291 00:09:24,940 --> 00:09:25,400 I don't know. 292 00:09:25,400 --> 00:09:26,520 I don't think I'm going to do it. 293 00:09:26,520 --> 00:09:28,060 I don't think I'm going to do it. 294 00:09:28,060 --> 00:09:28,900 I don't think I'm going to do it. 295 00:09:28,900 --> 00:09:29,860 I don't think I'm going to do it. 296 00:09:29,860 --> 00:09:31,200 I don't think I'm going to do it. 297 00:09:31,200 --> 00:09:32,200 I don't think I'm going to do it. 298 00:09:32,200 --> 00:09:33,200 I don't think I'm going to do it. 299 00:09:33,200 --> 00:09:34,200 I don't think I'm going to do it. 300 00:09:34,200 --> 00:09:35,200 I don't think I'm going to do it. 301 00:09:35,200 --> 00:09:37,680 There must come off looking better than the other. 302 00:09:38,100 --> 00:09:39,360 It's rather like a boxing match. 303 00:09:39,940 --> 00:09:43,040 It'll spar, then it comes in with a mug punch. 304 00:09:43,380 --> 00:09:43,600 Boom. 305 00:09:44,060 --> 00:09:46,420 This can unsettle a lot of people. 306 00:09:47,060 --> 00:09:49,440 Why do you have a bottle of Captain Morgan rum in your, 307 00:09:49,440 --> 00:09:51,720 for a teetotaler, that looks odd. 308 00:09:51,760 --> 00:09:52,140 No, no, no. 309 00:09:52,140 --> 00:09:53,460 You see it opinionating again. 310 00:09:53,900 --> 00:09:55,580 Now, are you asking the question or are you telling me? 311 00:09:56,660 --> 00:09:57,140 Next. 312 00:09:57,920 --> 00:09:58,740 Next, turn up. 313 00:09:59,300 --> 00:09:59,960 No, no, no. 314 00:10:00,000 --> 00:10:00,600 Next question. 315 00:10:05,200 --> 00:10:17,440 don't think I have a next question I think he obviously came to see what he 316 00:10:17,440 --> 00:10:22,560 could sort of get out of me kept saying to me you're losing it you're losing it 317 00:10:22,560 --> 00:10:27,440 aren't you lose it what do you mean losing it I've taken advice I've calmed 318 00:10:27,440 --> 00:10:48,600 yes I would I would I would niggle at him a little bit because I suppose it's kind of embarrassingly 319 00:10:48,600 --> 00:10:55,640 I don't know something awkward about it that is amusing I think I don't know fans of big green 320 00:10:55,640 --> 00:10:59,480 ducks will be pleased to see Keith Harrison Orville as the star turns in Cinderella at 321 00:10:59,480 --> 00:11:05,660 Cruise Lyceum Theatre who operates who in this partnership is unsure is that what it says I'm not even ready 322 00:11:05,660 --> 00:11:11,660 you see they have to say something like that that's a joke though isn't it of course it's a joke who 323 00:11:11,660 --> 00:11:19,160 operates who who operates in other words which one's the dummy phone I haven't heard that for at least 324 00:11:19,160 --> 00:11:27,560 Louis comes down he comes into your house you give him the access and he does try to find a 325 00:11:27,560 --> 00:11:32,720 chink in your armor and ever so subtly play on that chink for the pleasure of the view in public 326 00:11:32,720 --> 00:11:38,720 what's she getting out of it then oh she's a she's a mother no but I'm out of a relationship with you 327 00:11:38,720 --> 00:11:45,500 Chris I mean no offense I'm just getting getting your take on it I'm my husband she's my wife we 328 00:11:45,500 --> 00:11:53,060 are together we are in love we are we love each other we are in love I fancy her I fancy her no but 329 00:11:53,060 --> 00:11:58,100 what's she I said not what are you getting out of it well I would hope she fancies me too yeah he plays 330 00:11:58,100 --> 00:12:09,080 a docile character which disarms you but in disarming you you open up he's still docile or so 331 00:12:09,080 --> 00:12:18,600 he's playing when you're open and then you let out all of the egotistical behavior do you think there's 332 00:12:18,600 --> 00:12:25,640 a danger by having such a sort of smart plush look people think you're showing off showing off if they 333 00:12:25,640 --> 00:12:32,900 think in that negative okay job go ahead well I think it is a little bit show off isn't it where 334 00:12:32,900 --> 00:12:37,460 your job is like this but that's the idea you want to entertain people with your place so as well as 335 00:12:37,460 --> 00:12:42,120 liking them and being comfortable in them so we prefer showing off a little bit right but we prefer to 336 00:12:42,120 --> 00:12:48,060 use the word showman oh yes showmanship show off is in the negative if there's a fight there's an 337 00:12:48,060 --> 00:12:55,440 objective I have an objective and he has an objective so there's no real bonding there there there can 338 00:12:55,440 --> 00:13:04,020 come a respect which is oh I see you're good at what you do and I see that I can't break you so 339 00:13:04,020 --> 00:13:10,440 now I so now I respect you but can I bond with you no you know you say Chris Eubank likes a drink 340 00:13:10,440 --> 00:13:15,220 every now and then the children are going to be fine listen Chris Eubank does not like a drink from 341 00:13:15,220 --> 00:13:20,600 time to time and if I did I wouldn't tell you because it doesn't push you the right understanding 342 00:13:20,600 --> 00:13:26,900 of the fact that this debilitating drug does knock you down it holds you down we're just going to cut 343 00:13:26,900 --> 00:13:32,900 that out you can do you can cut it out I would say something like why are you wearing that funny hat 344 00:13:32,900 --> 00:13:39,700 aha you have tipped your cards my friend it is a funny hat to you that is your perception to my 345 00:13:39,700 --> 00:13:44,700 perception it is not a funny hat that the reason you are asking that is because you are trying to 346 00:13:44,700 --> 00:13:49,240 disarm me and you are trying to dissimulate but you cannot with me you will never and then you 347 00:13:49,240 --> 00:13:53,100 would go on like that for five or ten minutes at the end of which I'm thinking about well I don't 348 00:13:53,100 --> 00:14:03,620 know anything I say is it becomes a huge uh palaver I was never concerned with him I was only I was 349 00:14:03,620 --> 00:14:09,040 only concerned with me the idea you see in a competition do not concentrate on your opponent 350 00:14:09,040 --> 00:14:15,680 concentrate on yourself and while you're concentrating on yourself what they'll do is start 351 00:14:15,680 --> 00:14:23,240 concentrating on you also and once they start concentrating on you then they lose I knew it was 352 00:14:23,240 --> 00:14:28,460 having a go to try and get a bit of salacious TV so of course I suddenly drop into godfather mode 353 00:14:28,460 --> 00:14:34,820 and if he if he wants to die he can die he wouldn't be the first that I've put away but if a copper came 354 00:14:34,820 --> 00:14:40,580 and said he was a bit heavy with them with that kid or those two guys whatever I'd say your daughter 355 00:14:40,580 --> 00:14:45,920 comes in here she's 16 she's not supposed to come into town but she doesn't she comes here 356 00:14:45,920 --> 00:14:50,220 I presume he'd like me to look after if you don't want to look after her tell me and I'll let them 357 00:14:50,220 --> 00:14:56,600 dirty do what they want to her all right Jim all right all right all right then give me a hard time 358 00:14:56,600 --> 00:15:01,260 then yeah you're right you're right you didn't give the half enough I'll tell you Jim thank you 359 00:15:01,260 --> 00:15:09,220 goodbye and never got nicked I certainly um always took that with a grain of salt his his claims to be 360 00:15:09,220 --> 00:15:14,280 running the underworld I'd be more worried about him him suing us really not about you know what's 361 00:15:14,280 --> 00:15:24,220 he gonna do get someone around and break my legs I mean it was the odd bit when he was just jolly 362 00:15:24,220 --> 00:15:30,920 cheeky and intrusive and ask questions we just said not answering that can I ask um whether they 363 00:15:30,920 --> 00:15:40,000 paid for that you can ask and what did they mind your own business how much mind your own business 364 00:15:40,000 --> 00:15:46,280 10,000 mind your own business it can be annoying sometimes when you're trying to do so you concentrate 365 00:15:46,280 --> 00:15:53,060 and working on so it's not going well is it yeah it is I'm just joking I don't think it what do you 366 00:15:53,060 --> 00:16:00,440 think Louie shut it just let me am I gonna be in this big water it's an old ham let's face it he 367 00:16:00,440 --> 00:16:08,060 pushed a little but he was courteous I would say hmm would you say that yeah there was only one time 368 00:16:08,060 --> 00:16:17,560 in in the three months he was with us on and off that I really had a business problem and he really 369 00:16:17,560 --> 00:16:22,260 wanted to get in there and find out what that was and he wouldn't let go and that that moment he 370 00:16:22,260 --> 00:16:28,800 became a nuisance you're interfering with me this way just now yeah when when I was thinking when you 371 00:16:28,800 --> 00:16:34,100 were in the bad mood I wasn't in a bad mood you said you would keep pushing this no listen 372 00:16:34,100 --> 00:16:42,420 no a bad mood over the point is I've been in a bad mood I flip in a bad mood do you oh I would throw 373 00:16:42,420 --> 00:17:02,040 you across the room when I get angry hey Larry young people know all about wishbones 374 00:17:02,040 --> 00:17:13,760 this isn't too bad is it oh excuse me this is not too bad is it look at this oh isn't this very 375 00:17:13,760 --> 00:17:20,560 pleasant yeah this is fantastic you see one's own penthouse you see nobody else gets this is this 376 00:17:20,560 --> 00:17:27,120 like the best place there are two penthouses really two penthouses I have one and I don't know who has 377 00:17:27,120 --> 00:17:32,140 the other but I pity them because this is the best one Jimmy said these Jimmy said there's only two 378 00:17:32,140 --> 00:17:37,080 penthouses and this is one of them yes that's right no those that's not the penthouses no no 379 00:17:37,080 --> 00:17:43,740 the main pens are up the next day that's right I'm in the servants quarters it's close to the staff 380 00:17:43,740 --> 00:17:51,400 no but it's not bad though not too shabby not too shabby a nice balcony yeah that'll do for me 381 00:17:51,400 --> 00:17:56,300 when the captain came down and said the penthouse are on the floor above that wasn't technically true 382 00:17:56,300 --> 00:18:02,100 because there are four penthouses two of them are above the others but they're all penthouses 383 00:18:02,100 --> 00:18:08,000 because they've all got balconies it's a nautical term what what can you say like the the man who 384 00:18:08,000 --> 00:18:13,340 looked like he might be the captain or high up the the sort of maritime hierarchy was there saying no 385 00:18:13,340 --> 00:18:20,980 those aren't the penthouses the penthouses are on the next floor um Jimmy says what Jimmy says that 386 00:18:20,980 --> 00:18:25,720 the cap Jimmy says the captain was wrong about where the penthouses were I don't know I'm going to go 387 00:18:25,720 --> 00:18:26,720 with the captain I think 388 00:18:26,720 --> 00:18:45,300 he said that I'd like to be in the penthouse well you can't just you know you might think it's easy 389 00:18:45,300 --> 00:18:49,540 like a lot of people think it's easy oh I'll just go into a penthouse yeah it'd be a laugh you know you 390 00:18:49,540 --> 00:18:55,300 can't just do that Keith you said I might possibly be a strawberry seller was that it a strawberry 391 00:18:55,300 --> 00:19:03,540 seller in the beginning yeah if you want to take the wig off because a strawberry seller wouldn't 392 00:19:03,540 --> 00:19:08,200 have the wig it's better without better isn't it that's you that's more me that's more you lose 393 00:19:08,200 --> 00:19:14,380 lose the wig lose the wig I see a lot of myself in Keith you know I don't know if that's surprising 394 00:19:14,380 --> 00:19:21,440 or not but I can totally feel where he's coming from so look that's more vagabond isn't it yeah 395 00:19:21,440 --> 00:19:30,440 that's what I did and he got it right strawberries right who will buy who will buy who will buy 396 00:19:30,440 --> 00:19:38,000 yeah he did it well and he really wanted to be in it he was at the side of the stage all that night 397 00:19:38,000 --> 00:19:44,960 he wouldn't leave you know it's a you've done your two minutes I don't need you to till the finale you 398 00:19:44,960 --> 00:19:54,580 know but oh no he was there he was loving every minute of it he looked a little bit nervous you 399 00:19:54,580 --> 00:19:56,640 know he's a little bit wooden as we say 400 00:19:56,640 --> 00:20:24,260 I think he should take it up he should take it up and make it he'll make it one day won't he well if I direct him it'd be marvellous yeah yeah even jack and the beanstalk he could be the beanstalk 401 00:20:24,260 --> 00:20:40,400 and they did joke and you donated two weeks of the theatre yeah three weeks with Louie if you give him 402 00:20:40,400 --> 00:20:54,240 things he can't do he tends to focus on them we made a wooden duck didn't we for him to focus on 403 00:20:54,240 --> 00:21:00,180 in Swan Lake you never get a wooden duck in Swan Lake and Louie really wanted to play with the wooden 404 00:21:00,180 --> 00:21:08,220 duck I don't think he's being completely full and honest about what was going on there well can I 405 00:21:08,220 --> 00:21:13,980 I'd like to respectfully disagree with what Paul said because I think I'm pretty convinced that no 406 00:21:13,980 --> 00:21:20,280 that the cardboard Swan was supposed to be part of the production it would have been there if we 407 00:21:20,280 --> 00:21:25,320 hadn't been there oh no we don't look at things like that we don't film things like that thank 408 00:21:25,320 --> 00:21:31,260 you because that takes away the magic people it does people don't want to know how it works 409 00:21:31,260 --> 00:21:39,240 they don't I actually think the Swan piece was probably the only time I actually got quite stern with 410 00:21:39,240 --> 00:21:59,520 him Louie wanted to work this one and I wouldn't let him because he probably would have missed it up would 411 00:21:59,520 --> 00:22:09,660 it be okay if I pulled this one tonight it would not be okay ask me why why you have a devious and 412 00:22:09,660 --> 00:22:14,940 distorted sense of humor tell me if you think this is a bad idea I suggested to Paul that maybe I 413 00:22:14,940 --> 00:22:33,120 could work this one this evening but at the time I thought he wanted to do it so he could just you 414 00:22:33,120 --> 00:22:40,200 know have a laugh yeah no he's a hell of a fella sabotage it when they were touring the the local 415 00:22:40,200 --> 00:22:46,740 lighting people would pick it out with a spotlight as it moved behind the the dancers and it looked 416 00:22:46,740 --> 00:22:57,120 like a one of those things at a shooting arcade that falls over when you shoot it how do you think 417 00:22:57,120 --> 00:23:12,660 of you will be looking at this how do you look at me I like you the acting was perfect 418 00:23:12,660 --> 00:23:28,200 Louis that's what I do he makes it something like like a little boy face and um he okay he's 419 00:23:28,200 --> 00:23:34,080 over egging it he's pretending he's sort of making fun of himself and and it's sort of fake but he 420 00:23:34,080 --> 00:23:39,120 genuinely is touched and if you know Chris you know that's a good he's such a soft touch if you just say 421 00:23:39,120 --> 00:23:44,640 that I really think you're wonderful Chris I think you're just such a remarkable person he gets he gets 422 00:23:44,640 --> 00:23:52,260 very um sort of bashful and silly whether it's pretend or real it's still acting or whether you 423 00:23:52,260 --> 00:23:59,580 are aware of what you're doing or whether you're not it's still acting and I thought to myself boy that 424 00:23:59,580 --> 00:24:10,320 was good acting what's happening Chris after the show had gone out he he called up and I read out an 425 00:24:10,320 --> 00:24:15,720 email that I'd got where someone had written to me and said they really like the bit where you said 426 00:24:15,720 --> 00:24:21,260 that you like Chris Eubank and and he said what do you think of him I say I like you and and I read 427 00:24:21,260 --> 00:24:26,580 this out to him and he was incredibly touched by it like you just he was moved and that was the end of 428 00:24:26,580 --> 00:24:31,800 the conversation he said ah pure peace and then that was that was the end of the conversation 429 00:24:31,800 --> 00:24:43,020 this is something that we hadn't really anticipated when we agreed to do this program okay but this 430 00:24:43,020 --> 00:24:48,940 afternoon we're going off to the Barkley side police station right where Christine and I are going to be 431 00:24:48,940 --> 00:24:58,840 arrested no we're going to be arrested apparently on accusations of indecent assault people have said 432 00:24:58,840 --> 00:25:04,100 oh you know Louie must have known you bring your own camera along but he had absolutely no idea I mean 433 00:25:04,100 --> 00:25:10,140 we we made it clear on the film but he really we had no idea at all we just could tell that from the 434 00:25:10,140 --> 00:25:18,600 moment that his jaw dropped she has alleged that on the 5th of May Christine and I were at a sex party 435 00:25:18,600 --> 00:25:26,780 in Ilford and that an indecent assault was committed well I mean it's absolutely preposterous but 436 00:25:26,780 --> 00:25:32,120 we don't know any more than that Michael Coleman may be able to my solicitor that you attacked her 437 00:25:32,120 --> 00:25:38,780 together we don't know the details we may not find that we get to the police station on top of 438 00:25:38,780 --> 00:25:43,880 it being surreal we had Louie there filming the whole thing which made it doubly surreal and filming 439 00:25:43,880 --> 00:25:49,340 people filming us filming people I know an accusation has been made against them that they took part in 440 00:25:49,340 --> 00:25:56,120 a rape and indecent assault of a woman in Ilford on Saturday the 5th of May you know my head was 441 00:25:56,120 --> 00:26:03,920 teeming with so many bizarre and contradictory thoughts that I wasn't particularly thinking 442 00:26:03,920 --> 00:26:13,760 like are we going to go back to their flat this evening first time I've ever even thought gosh 443 00:26:13,760 --> 00:26:18,740 could we not have gone back with the film crew because I hadn't previously thought that that was 444 00:26:18,740 --> 00:26:23,360 even an option because we've gone with them and therefore you're buying to go home so the crew are a 445 00:26:23,360 --> 00:26:28,480 fact of life they were a fact of life yes the only identifying characteristic she could come up with 446 00:26:28,480 --> 00:26:34,520 was a blue dress she doesn't even know whether I'm circumcised or not oh for Christ's sake if it had 447 00:26:34,520 --> 00:26:38,640 been anyone else you would be surprised if they'd let you go back and carry on filming but that's the 448 00:26:38,640 --> 00:26:49,700 way Neil and Christine are it was my last night in Cheshire and after the stress of the past couple of 449 00:26:49,700 --> 00:26:56,420 days and somewhat under the influence I possibly over relaxed if you can't joke but I know this 450 00:26:56,420 --> 00:27:01,400 sounds awful because it's so serious and so horrible and you know how awful it's been but if you can't joke 451 00:27:01,400 --> 00:27:07,160 about it and if you can't laugh about it and we just wouldn't have got through we wouldn't have got 452 00:27:07,160 --> 00:27:16,860 through the last I mean we have had seven years we'd had a very very stressful time I think not to 453 00:27:16,860 --> 00:27:23,420 mention several bottles of wine well of course people underestimate the degree to which she knew 454 00:27:23,420 --> 00:27:27,680 what she was doing that she was aware that the camera was rolling and that she knew that it would 455 00:27:27,680 --> 00:27:34,540 make that it would make um a good sequence for that just for the documentary if she flirted with 456 00:27:34,540 --> 00:27:41,900 me a little bit just as I you know I was aware I mean if the camera hadn't been there I'm not convinced 457 00:27:41,900 --> 00:27:48,200 that it would have happened I don't know so I think partly it's her doing a Mrs. Robinson routine in order 458 00:27:48,200 --> 00:27:55,860 to just to be a bit provocative and and and sort of cause a little ripple of sensation and then I think 459 00:27:55,860 --> 00:28:03,300 also is her just maybe in her cups you know expressing affection because she is she is a flirtatious 460 00:28:03,300 --> 00:28:15,660 person he likes you do you think he does I know he does how do you know you like to flirt don't you 461 00:28:15,660 --> 00:28:20,200 of course I like to flirt what's wrong with that I've told you once before if not twice but I'll tell 462 00:28:20,200 --> 00:28:25,840 you again one of the most wonderful things about being happily married apart from all 463 00:28:25,840 --> 00:28:31,540 the obvious things is that you can flirt outrageously nobody takes you seriously what 464 00:28:31,540 --> 00:28:40,060 was it the first attracted you to Neil he's a very um sort of vulnerable person in a way and he 465 00:28:40,060 --> 00:28:47,280 brings out the mother in you and why not put your arm around a nice young man there's no sex involved 466 00:28:47,280 --> 00:28:53,820 it's just it's just too late for that I just kind of kind of like you it's awful isn't it I think the 467 00:28:53,820 --> 00:28:58,860 things that you think are hurtful or damaging and you you know you as a program maybe you know you 468 00:28:58,860 --> 00:29:04,320 should you know we should take that out because that's a little bit near the knuckle I when you 469 00:29:04,320 --> 00:29:09,480 screen that the shows for the people that that passes by you know they're like oh no that's fine 470 00:29:09,480 --> 00:29:14,080 that but why did you leave in the bit of you know like the Hamilton saying why did you leave in the 471 00:29:14,080 --> 00:29:19,800 shot of Charles Brandreth's book that's got to come out or why have you left in Neil's joke about 472 00:29:19,800 --> 00:29:27,900 the that cheery little bottom reposing um but but they're fine with um her smooching me 473 00:29:27,900 --> 00:29:38,340 you know boozerly on the on the couch I've lived in your world now come and live in mine 474 00:29:38,340 --> 00:29:48,220 are you nervous now Chris me yeah I'm petrified man I'm petrified boxing it's a very serious 475 00:29:48,220 --> 00:29:52,940 it's a very serious thing and it is the proven ground of proven grounds 476 00:29:52,940 --> 00:30:22,400 I'm just terrified because it just seems like a silly and strange thing to do and and 477 00:30:22,400 --> 00:30:27,160 and and kind of rude at some level that you know just because someone says please punch 478 00:30:27,160 --> 00:30:31,880 me as hard as you can you know that doesn't mean to me I am gonna do that you know what I mean 479 00:30:31,880 --> 00:30:40,220 it was always just right here when we were in that ring sparring 480 00:30:40,220 --> 00:30:48,060 it was always just sitting here just hitting one good punch up the guts 481 00:30:48,060 --> 00:30:59,780 if I could have done that you know I yearned to do it but I couldn't let myself down I thought it 482 00:30:59,780 --> 00:31:05,000 would make good TV but at my expense can you imagine I mean I think I would have gone to 483 00:31:05,000 --> 00:31:11,540 hospital wouldn't I I mean that was the other thing I was just terrified the guy he's got jackhammers 484 00:31:11,540 --> 00:31:16,140 on his you know what I mean there's probably something that he wasn't sure about which is why 485 00:31:16,140 --> 00:31:23,560 he was so he was so afraid the other thing is I have done boxing training although you would never 486 00:31:23,560 --> 00:31:30,560 know it to see that program for Balooie perhaps one day off camera 487 00:31:30,560 --> 00:31:55,560 congratulations 488 00:31:55,560 --> 00:32:05,800 I think a lot of people think that he's there to actually take the mickey and take the rise 489 00:32:05,800 --> 00:32:09,080 out of people and find the worst out there. And I think he wanted to do that with me. 490 00:32:09,520 --> 00:32:14,960 But, you know, after watching me work and seeing how passionate I am about what I do 491 00:32:14,960 --> 00:32:19,800 and emotional about what I do and professional about what I do, I think he stepped back and 492 00:32:19,800 --> 00:32:23,720 thought, I won't do this. You know, I'll let him get on with it. 493 00:32:23,720 --> 00:32:27,880 But I can't hear a thing and I've no idea how all this stuff works here. 494 00:32:28,840 --> 00:32:29,280 Hello? 495 00:32:32,300 --> 00:32:33,260 Oh, just a minute. 496 00:32:33,320 --> 00:32:34,680 Have I got the wrong headphones? 497 00:32:34,720 --> 00:32:35,340 Give me those ones. 498 00:32:37,280 --> 00:32:37,920 I hear you. 499 00:32:38,100 --> 00:32:38,420 Hello? 500 00:32:38,860 --> 00:32:48,020 I did enjoy it. Again, it was nice to have someone to talk to that was, you know, interested in 501 00:32:48,020 --> 00:32:52,440 what I was doing and not always there just to try and trip me up. 502 00:32:52,440 --> 00:32:54,140 Is it live? Are you on the air now? 503 00:32:54,760 --> 00:32:56,240 Yeah. I will be in a second. 504 00:32:57,100 --> 00:32:58,060 And who are they interviewing? 505 00:32:58,560 --> 00:32:59,880 Me, Cuddles and Orville. 506 00:33:01,260 --> 00:33:02,880 But Cuddles and Orville aren't here. 507 00:33:03,540 --> 00:33:05,900 Ah, they are. They are in my mind. 508 00:33:07,080 --> 00:33:09,260 And on the radio, I move my lips. You know that. 509 00:33:09,580 --> 00:33:11,220 It's odd that you haven't brought them, though. 510 00:33:11,280 --> 00:33:12,240 Yeah, but I don't need to bring them. 511 00:33:12,320 --> 00:33:12,500 Why? 512 00:33:12,500 --> 00:33:12,920 Just the radio. 513 00:33:12,920 --> 00:33:20,000 It would be hard to work them and get everything sorted out, you know. 514 00:33:21,200 --> 00:33:22,260 What do you mean, work them? 515 00:33:22,920 --> 00:33:26,280 Well, you know, push them in the right direction towards the microphone. 516 00:33:26,280 --> 00:33:28,520 There was Neil, me, Louis and his producer. 517 00:33:29,180 --> 00:33:34,740 And we went through an extraordinary time because of all the sex allegations. 518 00:33:34,920 --> 00:33:36,440 And we were surrounded by the media. 519 00:33:36,560 --> 00:33:38,840 And it was, it was unbelievable. 520 00:33:39,080 --> 00:33:41,460 It was, gosh, is this happening for all of us? 521 00:33:41,840 --> 00:33:46,160 And you're bound to form a bond when that sort of thing happens. 522 00:33:46,480 --> 00:33:48,400 It's like being hostages together, you mean? 523 00:33:48,920 --> 00:33:52,040 But Neil and Christine were committed to another photo call that morning. 524 00:33:52,340 --> 00:33:53,980 And the press were waiting outside. 525 00:33:54,620 --> 00:33:56,280 Does that, I mean, shall I take the flowers? 526 00:33:56,340 --> 00:33:57,480 Or do you think that's too post? 527 00:34:01,380 --> 00:34:02,660 I just, I was wondering. 528 00:34:02,660 --> 00:34:05,880 Well, I don't think you should just go out there and stand around with flowers for the sake of it. 529 00:34:06,060 --> 00:34:08,620 No, they have asked us to go out because they want people. 530 00:34:08,620 --> 00:34:11,440 So all we're doing is cooperating with the press. 531 00:34:12,100 --> 00:34:14,400 You know, we got on with him very well and we regard him as a friend. 532 00:34:14,520 --> 00:34:18,140 I mean, that probably isn't going to do Louis any good in certain quarters. 533 00:34:18,140 --> 00:34:22,100 Because I think, my God, if they've hoodwinked Louis as well, what sort of man is Louis? 534 00:34:22,340 --> 00:34:24,380 Well, we haven't hoodwinked Louis. 535 00:34:24,500 --> 00:34:28,740 It's just that Louis is with an open mind, made up his own mind. 536 00:34:29,100 --> 00:34:33,420 I would like to think that we are friends. 537 00:34:34,040 --> 00:34:36,100 This would be a very nice parting gift. 538 00:34:36,560 --> 00:34:39,160 Nobody ever got a fix-it badge unless I did ever fix it. 539 00:34:39,280 --> 00:34:40,500 You have fixed it for me. 540 00:34:40,520 --> 00:34:41,220 I haven't, I haven't. 541 00:34:41,280 --> 00:34:41,940 That's number one. 542 00:34:42,000 --> 00:34:43,800 You have, you've fixed it for me to hang out with you. 543 00:34:43,800 --> 00:34:48,040 Number two, if you think that you are walking out of my life, you've got another thing coming. 544 00:34:48,560 --> 00:34:53,680 Because in the time we've been together, I've come to depend on you and lean on you. 545 00:34:53,780 --> 00:34:54,600 Yeah, yeah. 546 00:34:54,600 --> 00:34:55,060 And lean on you. 547 00:34:55,140 --> 00:34:56,540 You've gone a bit schmaltzy now. 548 00:34:56,560 --> 00:35:04,820 He has been up to see you with me, stay with me, have a good time, going to restaurants and things like that. 549 00:35:04,820 --> 00:35:08,960 For at least once every four or five weeks. 550 00:35:10,460 --> 00:35:12,360 Good fun, great fun. 551 00:35:12,820 --> 00:35:19,280 And I think that he was a pleasure and I really enjoyed doing the show. 552 00:35:19,280 --> 00:35:26,400 I think pros like pros, you know, and I'm not talking about verse. 553 00:35:27,000 --> 00:35:31,000 I'm talking about professionals like professionals, that's what I mean, yeah. 554 00:35:31,460 --> 00:35:31,620 See? 555 00:35:32,320 --> 00:35:33,180 Is that safe? 556 00:35:33,480 --> 00:35:34,360 It's all safe, yeah. 557 00:35:34,580 --> 00:35:37,780 But if you stand in it, you see, you're far too big for it. 558 00:35:38,280 --> 00:35:38,920 You see what I mean? 559 00:35:39,800 --> 00:35:40,660 You can't close the door. 560 00:35:40,660 --> 00:35:45,260 Right, I think it's coffee break time, don't you? 561 00:35:46,140 --> 00:35:48,060 Everybody say yes for coffee, everybody? 562 00:35:48,320 --> 00:35:48,780 Yes, okay. 563 00:35:49,140 --> 00:35:49,880 The team, the 20. 564 00:35:50,120 --> 00:35:53,060 And how long would you have to stay in here for like a magic trick? 565 00:35:53,060 --> 00:35:59,360 Paul? 566 00:36:03,220 --> 00:36:04,360 Quite nice in here. 567 00:36:11,160 --> 00:36:12,700 Well, I'm glad about that. 568 00:36:12,940 --> 00:36:13,740 I'll tell you why. 569 00:36:14,560 --> 00:36:16,080 All the boxes I made... 570 00:36:16,080 --> 00:36:16,480 Please close it. 571 00:36:17,020 --> 00:36:18,140 Please close it. 572 00:36:18,140 --> 00:36:25,360 We weren't sure whether he would not like or accept us 573 00:36:25,360 --> 00:36:27,780 because we're from a different generation to him. 574 00:36:28,360 --> 00:36:32,340 And the same, going back, would we like him and get on with him? 575 00:36:32,440 --> 00:36:33,280 But we did. 576 00:36:33,560 --> 00:36:35,240 To the three of us. 577 00:36:35,400 --> 00:36:36,140 To the three of us. 578 00:36:36,420 --> 00:36:37,060 How's that? 579 00:36:37,960 --> 00:36:38,740 Ménage à trois. 580 00:36:39,240 --> 00:36:39,680 Cheers. 581 00:36:39,940 --> 00:36:40,160 Pardon? 582 00:36:41,160 --> 00:36:43,460 You say these words, you have no idea what they mean. 583 00:36:43,620 --> 00:36:44,000 I do. 584 00:36:44,420 --> 00:36:44,700 Oh! 585 00:36:44,700 --> 00:36:48,160 I realised after I'd said it on camera. 586 00:36:48,800 --> 00:36:52,680 You take the mickey out of your mates, your friends, you know? 587 00:36:52,920 --> 00:36:57,500 And I think that Louis might well be considered, 588 00:36:57,660 --> 00:36:59,060 certainly in our case, as a friend. 589 00:36:59,500 --> 00:37:01,780 And he's perfectly entitled to have a pop. 590 00:37:02,420 --> 00:37:04,500 I mean, anybody who looks as funny as he does 591 00:37:04,500 --> 00:37:07,020 should have a pop at somebody else, yeah. 592 00:37:07,020 --> 00:37:11,220 When I wish I was astray... 593 00:37:11,220 --> 00:37:12,060 Tilt it up a bit. 594 00:37:12,060 --> 00:37:19,380 I heard afterwards that some executive, executive, executive 595 00:37:19,380 --> 00:37:20,640 had said to Louis, 596 00:37:20,980 --> 00:37:24,560 look, you haven't really found anything nasty about these people tonight. 597 00:37:24,640 --> 00:37:25,620 You've got to get the knife in. 598 00:37:26,260 --> 00:37:29,640 And Louis said, no, I won't do that because I like them. 599 00:37:30,600 --> 00:37:32,520 But first off, hats off to Louis. 600 00:37:32,520 --> 00:37:41,060 And secondly, isn't it sad that somebody thinks the only way to be entertaining 601 00:37:41,060 --> 00:37:45,020 or even interesting is to find out nasty stuff? 602 00:37:45,420 --> 00:37:46,660 I'm sure Louis likes me. 603 00:37:47,980 --> 00:37:49,680 Will Louis call me up once a week? 604 00:37:49,780 --> 00:37:50,620 I don't think so. 605 00:37:51,800 --> 00:37:52,760 But I'm sure he likes me. 606 00:37:54,800 --> 00:37:55,760 I like Louis. 607 00:37:57,640 --> 00:37:59,220 But I call him up twice a week. 608 00:37:59,220 --> 00:38:01,040 Probably, I do call him one for a week. 609 00:38:07,400 --> 00:38:10,180 I mean, Louis is, he's not normal. 610 00:38:10,860 --> 00:38:12,160 I mean, let's agree that. 611 00:38:12,220 --> 00:38:13,600 He's not a normal human being. 612 00:38:14,580 --> 00:38:16,640 Well, not with Leonardo da Vinci or Einstein. 613 00:38:16,640 --> 00:38:19,020 No, no, I'm not saying there's anything wrong with not being normal. 614 00:38:19,260 --> 00:38:25,660 He's not quite as wacky and weird in real life as he appears on the shows, but... 615 00:38:25,660 --> 00:38:27,340 No, he's only 99% as wacky. 616 00:38:27,340 --> 00:38:30,700 Yes, but he is, um, he's an odd fish. 617 00:38:31,540 --> 00:38:37,540 Tall, gangly, not as ingenuous as he appears. 618 00:38:37,940 --> 00:38:39,420 Always does that look, doesn't he? 619 00:38:39,460 --> 00:38:43,080 In every photograph you see is that sort of funny look. 620 00:38:43,080 --> 00:38:50,020 You can always tell if you kiss a man, I'm just talking about, you know, lightly kiss, 621 00:38:50,020 --> 00:38:54,380 I'm not talking about, you know, I'm just talking about, or if you dance with a man or whatever, 622 00:38:54,760 --> 00:39:01,040 you can always tell by the way the body reacts whether they're, he was a bit sort of, you know, tense. 623 00:39:01,580 --> 00:39:05,140 And I think he thought, well, you'd have to ask him. 624 00:39:05,140 --> 00:39:06,320 He probably felt under threat. 625 00:39:06,320 --> 00:39:09,080 You'd have to ask him what he thought, but he was a bit sort of tense. 626 00:39:09,380 --> 00:39:09,760 Good morning. 627 00:39:09,920 --> 00:39:10,660 Good morning, darling. 628 00:39:10,760 --> 00:39:11,540 There are your boots. 629 00:39:12,040 --> 00:39:13,240 I brought you a cup of tea. 630 00:39:13,360 --> 00:39:14,180 Thanks very much. 631 00:39:14,700 --> 00:39:15,120 Thank you. 632 00:39:15,260 --> 00:39:16,320 Can I have a little... 633 00:39:19,000 --> 00:39:23,140 Some people are odd, and some people are not odd. 634 00:39:23,740 --> 00:39:26,800 I've always been odd, and people find that strange. 635 00:39:26,800 --> 00:39:31,300 So when we were all together making the show, 636 00:39:32,140 --> 00:39:34,740 Louis is normal to a great degree. 637 00:39:35,460 --> 00:39:38,120 On a scale of one to ten, he's normal about nine and a half. 638 00:39:39,060 --> 00:39:44,160 I'm odd on a scale of one to ten, about nine and a half, but I'm nine and a half odd. 639 00:39:44,920 --> 00:39:47,560 On reflection, do you wish you'd stayed in here? 640 00:39:48,820 --> 00:39:52,480 Sleeping in here is different class to sleeping in a building. 641 00:39:53,440 --> 00:39:54,080 This is living. 642 00:39:54,620 --> 00:39:55,480 That is existing. 643 00:39:55,480 --> 00:40:02,360 He's not quite as wacky and weird in real life as he appears on the shows, but... 644 00:40:02,360 --> 00:40:04,060 No, he's only 99% as wacky. 645 00:40:04,060 --> 00:40:05,420 Yes, but he is... 646 00:40:05,420 --> 00:40:07,400 He's an odd fish. 647 00:40:08,180 --> 00:40:09,340 He is a shy person. 648 00:40:09,500 --> 00:40:14,100 I mean, I said to him, what, you know, you've become a big star. 649 00:40:14,220 --> 00:40:15,420 How's it affecting you? 650 00:40:15,500 --> 00:40:17,140 And he said, you know, what is your day? 651 00:40:17,300 --> 00:40:21,920 He said, well, I play on my superintender, whatever he's got. 652 00:40:21,920 --> 00:40:25,120 And he said, I go to the pub quiz. 653 00:40:25,120 --> 00:40:28,660 He said, it doesn't make any difference to me, you know. 654 00:40:29,320 --> 00:40:36,560 And that's all right, but I think once he starts getting some of the media who are having a go at him and papers and some of the things trying to get... 655 00:40:36,560 --> 00:40:41,240 I think he realises it's being famous isn't all that it makes out to be. 656 00:40:41,240 --> 00:40:42,740 You know, you have to be on your guard. 657 00:40:42,740 --> 00:40:48,640 When Keith says something like that, he's talking about me in terms of being a kind of a celebrity. 658 00:40:49,300 --> 00:40:54,700 And in a weird way, that's sort of, that's a little bit awkward. 659 00:40:54,700 --> 00:41:13,260 And I think that's one of the reasons why I feel like, well, I don't know how many more of these we can really do because the minute the people I'm talking to start to view me as a kind of a peer, a, you know, a fellow member of the celebrity fraternity, then I think it's problematic. 660 00:41:13,260 --> 00:41:14,640 Look at this dodgy character. 661 00:41:14,960 --> 00:41:15,960 I knew he was involved. 662 00:41:16,000 --> 00:41:17,200 I must say, I've roared with glasses. 663 00:41:17,200 --> 00:41:18,200 How did he get involved? 664 00:41:18,300 --> 00:41:19,380 Yeah, my glasses are gone. 665 00:41:19,380 --> 00:41:24,240 Seriously, I mean, in all due respect, and I do have a lot of sympathy for you, don't drag me into this, please. 666 00:41:24,260 --> 00:41:24,760 But you're in it. 667 00:41:25,100 --> 00:41:25,620 Don't be silly. 668 00:41:26,040 --> 00:41:26,720 I'm clean. 669 00:41:26,860 --> 00:41:27,320 Don't be silly. 670 00:41:27,320 --> 00:41:29,820 I don't even go to, I mean, I went to one swingers party. 671 00:41:30,260 --> 00:41:31,800 And you mentioned me during the police. 672 00:41:31,800 --> 00:41:32,420 Don't drag me into it. 673 00:41:32,420 --> 00:41:34,860 You mentioned me in the police interview as well. 674 00:41:35,060 --> 00:41:36,280 I thought we were going in. 675 00:41:36,280 --> 00:41:37,860 I don't want to be in there. 676 00:41:37,880 --> 00:41:39,520 We're taking you to Cheshire for the weekend. 677 00:41:39,760 --> 00:41:43,020 There were pages of tabloid press devoted to Louis Theroux. 678 00:41:43,300 --> 00:41:44,380 What was he doing in the background? 679 00:41:44,940 --> 00:41:56,380 And I think he's had and has since had to come to terms with that and cope with the fact that he was suddenly shot into the limelight in a way that he hadn't been before. 680 00:41:56,380 --> 00:42:03,200 What I found interesting was that some strange women find Louis fanciable. 681 00:42:03,980 --> 00:42:06,520 Now, that's very odd. 682 00:42:09,180 --> 00:42:10,560 You're cheeky wonky. 683 00:42:11,320 --> 00:42:14,920 Louis is for real because he is what he is. 684 00:42:15,480 --> 00:42:18,960 He is like a French soup with a bit of everything. 685 00:42:18,960 --> 00:42:28,260 There's a bit of naivety, a bit of wide-open-eyed innocence, a bit of knowing exactly which way he's going and what he's doing. 686 00:42:28,840 --> 00:42:30,100 So with Louis, there's a bit of everything. 687 00:42:30,180 --> 00:42:31,000 It's like a French soup. 688 00:42:31,220 --> 00:42:32,720 Does it have to be a French soup? 689 00:42:33,260 --> 00:42:35,780 How is a French soup different from, like, an English soup? 690 00:42:35,780 --> 00:42:49,860 I still get emails about this where, um, I didn't like you until I saw the Theroux program. 691 00:42:49,860 --> 00:42:51,180 Yeah, I get that a lot. 692 00:42:51,420 --> 00:42:53,080 Who is Paul Daniels? 693 00:42:53,100 --> 00:42:54,500 He's a magic magician, man. 694 00:42:55,000 --> 00:42:56,200 He's a magic magician, man. 695 00:42:57,040 --> 00:42:58,120 Do you know his wife's name? 696 00:42:58,280 --> 00:42:58,640 No. 697 00:42:58,860 --> 00:43:00,720 Ah, I bet you would if you saw us. 698 00:43:00,720 --> 00:43:01,920 Mrs Daniels. 699 00:43:01,920 --> 00:43:08,880 I think the viewers saw us as real people and not what the papers were writing about us, so it was good for us. 700 00:43:09,320 --> 00:43:15,640 On the one page, at no extra charge, not only me, but you. 701 00:43:16,160 --> 00:43:16,920 Oh, go on then. 702 00:43:16,920 --> 00:43:17,640 But him as well. 703 00:43:18,200 --> 00:43:19,340 Yeah, who am I? 704 00:43:19,540 --> 00:43:27,880 The public suddenly thought I was having a resurgence of life, whereas in fact I've never, ever stopped working. 705 00:43:28,180 --> 00:43:29,900 Public reaction, I'm still getting it today. 706 00:43:31,920 --> 00:43:40,840 It gave the public a perception that they hadn't ever had. 707 00:43:41,120 --> 00:43:42,420 Because a fighter is only this. 708 00:43:49,080 --> 00:43:51,800 You know, people need to see that you can... 709 00:43:51,800 --> 00:43:57,920 People need to see that you can be gentle, that you can be... 710 00:43:57,920 --> 00:44:04,860 That you are other characters in the one character. 711 00:44:05,000 --> 00:44:12,120 It really surprised me that people have taken time to write and say how they liked me in the programme 712 00:44:12,120 --> 00:44:17,260 and they thought I did very well, came off very well, considering I was trying to get something out of it. 713 00:44:17,360 --> 00:44:19,860 And they want me back on the TV. 714 00:44:19,860 --> 00:44:27,340 Thank you very much, how are you doing? Is everybody happy? 715 00:44:28,780 --> 00:44:35,080 And the other nice thing about it, people within our business, agents and artists, and some of you top artists, 716 00:44:35,600 --> 00:44:40,260 have phoned me up and said, yeah, you know, we all agree what you are saying. 717 00:44:40,260 --> 00:44:44,620 You know, you are the last one out there waving the flag for variety. 718 00:44:44,620 --> 00:44:59,380 I think that Louis will be a long time on television and eventually, when he grows up, he'll be really good. 719 00:45:00,580 --> 00:45:03,040 We shall watch his career with interest, won't we, darling? 720 00:45:03,080 --> 00:45:06,660 We shall take a fatherly and motherly interest in his burgeoning career. 721 00:45:06,660 --> 00:45:18,260 He must probably be a very good, I wouldn't say chat show host, but maybe some sort of a game, you know, type of thing he could be. 722 00:45:18,800 --> 00:45:20,480 And I hope he continues to prosper. 723 00:45:21,700 --> 00:45:23,360 So if we can hang on to his coattails. 724 00:45:23,380 --> 00:45:24,580 Hang on to his coattails. 725 00:45:25,000 --> 00:45:26,720 One day, you may need somebody. 726 00:45:26,960 --> 00:45:28,880 You don't at the moment, because you're top of the tree. 727 00:45:29,600 --> 00:45:31,340 You are the man. You are the man. 728 00:45:31,340 --> 00:45:36,660 One day, you might need somebody, and you might go, eek, and then you will look at the book, and that's my phone number, 729 00:45:37,160 --> 00:45:42,020 and you're on the eau de cologne, or even the rag and bone, and I will sort it out. 730 00:45:42,400 --> 00:45:49,960 When it came to saying goodbye to Louis, they had a young guy at the threshold of his career, 731 00:45:50,660 --> 00:45:55,580 could do big things, could still do big things, or he could sling himself in the dustbin. 732 00:45:56,220 --> 00:45:56,980 It's his choice. 733 00:46:01,340 --> 00:46:25,040 Thank you.